Switching to online classes has left me feeling more anxious, stressed, and alone than ever. Having to sit alone at my desk for ten hours a day, frantically trying to balance lectures and assignments, has changed my perspective on college forever. I've realized a lot of the way I've structured my time at college has been unhealthy, or simply just held me back from having the best experience possible. Here are the ways I'm changing:
I'm only taking classes that interest me.
Sitting in a lecture hall, aimlessly doodling, just waiting for a professor to let you leave, is one thing. Having to sit through those lectures all by yourself? Absolute torture. I need classes that make it worth sitting in front of a screen, especially with the very real possibility that classes might continue to go online in the fall. Switching around my schedule for next semester to prioritize taking the classes that genuinely interest me rather than classes that start no earlier than noon has made me much more excited about returning to campus.
I'm building relationships with my professors.
I have always been way too anxious to go to office hours. But trying to email a professor during a pandemic when they have no idea who you is are is definitely worse. During our zoom lectures, my professors keep saying that they miss getting to see and talk to us daily, and I'm realizing that I never really got to have a connection with any of them. When I get back onto campus I'm making sure that my professors really get to know me and know how much I value their time and expertise.
I'm making more time for my friends.
Shocking to absolutely no one, I miss my friends. Zoom dates and facetime calls can only happen so frequently. I miss being able to meet someone for all meals of the day, staying up all night with them, and navigating the whole college experience with people I love. Isolation has shown me how dependent I've become on seeing my friends every day. When you're on campus it can get overwhelming trying to balance social life and school and by the end of the semester, I was seriously neglecting my friends. School is important, but from now on, I'm saying yes to more nights out and more adventures with the people I love.
I'm networking.
Even thinking about entering the job market when America is categorizing people into "essential" and "nonessential" is giving my anxiety. But as scary as thinking about working is, COVID-19 has really allowed people to learn a lot about how companies and bosses treat employees during a crisis. I'm paying attention to which companies are providing benefits and sick leave to their employees. In times where millions of Americans are facing unemployment, I know that I have to rely a lot more on networking and getting referrals to make sure I still have access to my dream jobs. When I get back onto campus, I'm working as hard as possible to find employers I love and people that will help me get there.
I'm supporting local businesses.
Local businesses in college towns are really hurting, and there is a very real possibility that my favorite family-owned restaurants might not be able to make their money stretch to the fall. Knowing this has really made me take a look at my wallet, and from now on I think I'm going to have a much harder time picking a chain over one of my favorite local places. I want to support my community and show appreciation for the families that rely on my business to survive. Goodbye fast food!
I'm making time for school spirit.
I don't miss staying in the library until it closes. Or freaking out about assignments that weren't graded the way I expected. Or putting all of my energy into student clubs and organizations that don't make me happy. I miss my university and getting to enjoy everything it offers to me. My college wasn't my first choice dream school, but now that I'm without it, I've realized that I love being there, that it's become home to me. When I get to go back, I'm going to go to more sporting events in full spirit wear. I want to use my free time to see my classmates in a play rather than watching Netflix. I want to walk along the Quad just a little slower, appreciating how beautiful my campus is. From now on, I'm using every chance I get to make memories with my friends, my classmates, my professors. From now on, I'm using everything the University offers me to the fullest. And from now on, I'm making sure that a cheer of "I-L-L" is never not met with me shouting back "I-N-I!"
sunrise
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bonfire friends
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sadness
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purple skies
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true love
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My Cheerleader
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womans transformation to happiness and love
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future life together of adventures
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