Right about now, freshmen are settling into their little college groups. They're finding their fit in the transition of being a high schooler that needs mom and dad all the time to something that resembles an adult. Being away from everything you love, know, and grew up with can be one of the hardest things you've ever experienced, but you won't know it at first.
The first few days, and possibly weeks, you enjoy the freedom and opportunities college has to offer. You get swept up in the rush of independence. Then you start to realize that home is comforting. It's not the place where you see your little brother, pet your fluffy dog, or deny your mom a kiss on the cheek. Panic slowly starts to settle in, or it did in my case.
When I took part in Marquette's First Families day, I was asked to be part of a panel of students that would talk about our experiences and answer any questions that students had. I remember one girl saying, "You said you're from Guam, right? I'm from Arizona and I was just wondering how you handle being so far away from home." I was expecting that question the second I knew that I was on the panel just because my home is probably one of the farthest amongst students at Marquette.
How do I handle being away from home? In a previous article, I touched on it. The way I cope with not seeing my baby brother every day or help make food for family gatherings is I take things one day at a time. I take it slow and I always remind myself of the reasons why I'm thousands of miles away from home. I'm here to experience things I would never have the chance to if I stayed on Guam. I'm here to get an education in something that'll help me be a productive person in society. Going into college, I knew that returning home would always be a maybe every year. It's just not possible to afford a nearly three thousand dollar plane ticket home twice every year. So, one night before I left for freshman year, I stayed up late and made of lists and reminders.
The first reminder is to BREATHE.
Simple. As. That.
If I don't allow myself time to breathe and calm myself, I might start to cry, but that isn't always a bad thing as you will soon find out.
The second thing I remind myself is that I can always CALL HOME.
Hearing familiar voices calms me. Whether it's a friend or my family, talking to someone I've known for years serves as a way to make getting through days out here easier. I remember one day when I had taken a nap and woke up because the dream I had was upsetting. My eyes were overflowing with tears, I was barely able to catch my breath, and the only way to keep quiet was to put my hand over my mouth. I was inconsolable at that point, but I made a call to my house where my brother picked up.
I never knew him to be the loving, doting brother that some people are familiar with. Sure, he has his moments, and this particular moment was one of his greatest. I called obviously distraught and he talked to me and eventually calmed me down. Hearing his voice and knowing that he actually cared was enough to help me regain my thoughts and composure.
My third tip for myself is to CRY.
Crying is just so damn rejuvenating and empowering in a way. It allows me to reset my feelings and thoughts so that I can think clearly. Maybe this deserves a spot above calling home, but I think that crying is in a whole other ball game. I've gotten through a few nights of tears alone, never having to call home. I shouldn't have to feel ashamed or embarrassed that I cry. As human being, I'm entitled to emotions and sometimes those emotions lead to crying.
