Have you ever had a leech sucking your blood? By leech, I mean an ugly little thing crawling up your spine wanting to take more and more of your blood. This ugly little thing has taken control of you and wants to remain that way. This is what I call, T-O-X-I-C.
Toxic, by my own definition, is a venomous leech or being who is consuming your being and negatively impacting you. In terms of a toxic relationship, I would call it something like this. A toxic relationship is someone who puts you down, continuously name calls you, emotionally/physically/economically/academically/psychologically abusing you, and not respecting you as a person. It can be either a romantic relationship, a friendship, within a family, neighbors, etc. Toxic relationships aren't just for a romance, it can occur in any type of relationship.
I want everyone who is reading, how to recognize what a toxic relationship is, how to get help, and how to leave them and build yourself up!
Being in love is great-- it's one of the most amazing feelings in the world. You feel as if you are alive and are on top of the world. You feel as if you are constantly walking through a garden of roses. You feel that your significant other is the most amazing person ever, but then you start realizing there's something that isn't right... You start getting abused emotionally on a constant basis. You forgive them many times because you're in love with them and you just don't know what to do about it. Let me tell you something. Whether you are a male or a female reading this-- this applies to anyone! NOBODY- and I mean nobody has the right to put you down as a human being and to not respect you in several aspects of your life. I don't care if you say they love you so so much, and you love them a lot too. You shouldn't be with them if they're constantly putting you down and making you feel worthless.
Love isn't putting someone down. Love isn't name calling someone. Love isn't cursing someone out. Love isn't controlling someone's life. Love isn't forcing someone to do something. Love isn't betraying that person and lying to that person countless times to THEIR FACE. If you recognize that you or someone you know is in a relationship like this-- I would HIGHLY suggest to please, get out of it.
I'm not trying to control anyone's life. I just want people to be able to recognize what a healthy relationship versus a toxic relationship. Nobody you love should ever make you feel low as a person, and think that they are in control. You should never have to feel like you are constantly being ridiculed, and constantly having to prove who you are to them. When in reality it's actually them. You are the one that didn't do anything wrong. It's the leech who is sucking up all your blood and intends to stay that way and never leave. They've made a permanent place under your skin. They know just the right words, and the right gestures to get you to forgive them. There has to come a time when you need to realize that enough is enough. You simply can't continue being with someone who is abusing you. Nobody deserves that. And I honestly mean nobody. If you've read through this and realized that you are currently in a toxic relationship, then keep on reading. I'll now talk about how to receive help in a toxic relationship.
The first thing to do when recognizing you need help in your toxic relationship is reaching out to your friends and family (when in a romance that's toxic). Tell your family and friends about the type of abuse you've been experiencing. They will be concerned, and most likely not want you to see that person again, and tell you to break it off with them.
It is highly unlikely that these people who are the "leeches" will ever change. They are stuck in their ways. They are exactly like a vampire, you can't tell a vampire not to suck on blood, same with a leech. Your family and friends are your greatest support system, and should be able to be there for you in this tough time.
The next thing you should do is recognize what type of abuse they are giving you. If it is emotional, then you need to cut everything you have with them-- block them and delete their number. If it is physical, then you should report them if you want to take it to police, and perhaps even take it to court. If it is economically- then you need to take this matter to court to get your rightfully owned money back. If it is academically, then you must not talk to them anymore. If it is psychologically then like the other ones, either go to court and/or stop talking to this person.
For each type of abuse they all leave either physical or internal wounds that will always remain with the victim. Don't stay with someone who is doing all of this to you. I really urge you to leave this person who is abusing you because once it happens, it can happen over and over again. If they exhibit even one of the types of abuse, it is very likely that they could become the other types of abuses as well. For example, they could be emotionally abusing you and controlling your life and controlling your every move in your days, and then out of nowhere could become violent towards you. There is no way to tell if they won't become another type of abuser. Once they start abusing you in one way-- they could do it another way as well. You don't deserve this at all. This isn't a healthy relationship-- this is completely T-O-X-I-C.
The hotline for abuse is a 24/7 hotline, the number is (1-800-799-SAFE) SAFE is 7233. Also feel free to refer here in order to conduct a safety plan for yourself.
Leaving someone you thought was your love, your best friend, friend, closest relative in abuses cases, is very much for the best.
You simply cannot be with someone who is continually abusing you. You deserve much better. I understand that this person might be your first love, or they might've been your best friend but trust me once they've started the abuse they will always continue doing so. You simply don't need to be with someone who puts you down as a person all the time, controls your life, emotionally abuses you, physically, economically, and academically abuses you. You should leave this person.
The healing process is different for each and every person. Some people might recover in a few weeks, months, or even years. I currently am recovering from a toxic relationship, and this leech was emotionally abusing me. The most important thing is surrounding yourself with people who you really love and trust, and doing the things that you really love. If you love painting-- then paint all day! If you love reading books-- then read lots of new books! If you love dancing-- go out dancing with your best friends! If you love acting then get yourself involved in a local production! If you love taking photographs, then get yourself out in a beautiful nature area and take beautiful pictures. If you love writing like myself, then write down everything how you feel on a piece of paper.
The recovery process, like I said could be short or long. I'm currently focusing on myself and doing what I love and surrounding myself with people who truly do love me. What has been helping myself get better is listening to great uplifting music, being around supportive and loving family and friends, taking photographs in beautiful places, acting and dancing to challenge my emotions in another character, reading, and writing my feelings down.
What helps the most is realizing that I'm a million times better without the leech who bothered me for so long. I'm so happy to be free from the abuse. Nobody needs or deserves a leech in their life.
“Toxic relationships are dangerous to your health; they will literally kill you. Stress shortens your lifespan. Even a broken heart can kill you. There is an undeniable mind-body connection. Your arguments and hateful talk can land you in the emergency room or in the morgue. You were not meant to live in a fever of anxiety; screaming yourself hoarse in a frenzy of dreadful, panicked fight-or-flight that leaves you exhausted and numb with grief. You were not meant to live like animals tearing one another to shreds. Don't turn your hair gray. Don't carve a roadmap of pain into the sweet wrinkles on your face. Don't lay in the quiet with your heart pounding like a trapped, frightened creature. For your own precious and beautiful life, and for those around you — seek help or get out before it is too late. This is your wake-up call!”
― Bryant McGill
Refer yourself here as well as here for help in recognizing and battling the signs of abusive relationships.
