Think back to that night. That night when you went to bed, woke up the next morning, went to work, and were expecting to see your girlfriend later that day. Imagine checking your phone after work to 10 unread text messages from her friend telling you that your girlfriend committed suicide. At such a young age, she had a bright future ahead of her and big voids in hearts still have not been filled.
There is no worse pain and repercussions of a loved one passing away is a torture that scars everyone. When it first happens, thought such as, "Will I survive?""My life will never be the same again," and "I can't live without her/him" swim through their minds. As difficult as it may be to believe, you can live with it and there are ways to move on from it. Let's explore how.
As you may predict, the first stage of coping and grief is the shock stage. This is when the death occurs and you cannot absorb and realize what has just happened. While it may seem like a bad thing, it is actually a good thing. The feeling of being numb allows the person to distinguish important decisions and actions. This is because your brain still expects the person who passed away to still be there, you begin to deny the fact they're gone. For example, sending them a text and waiting for a response or knocking on their door and expecting them to answer. The reality begins to set that they're gone.
This leads to facing grief. Here's why this is healthy and good for you. Storing negative emotions and keeping this to yourself is very unhealthy. It messes with your emotions and mindset, you begin to withdraw from people you care about and develop depression later on. You HAVE to tell someone about it. Allow whatever emotions you feel to show without others judging you. If you feel like crying, do it. If you're happy and need a good laugh, laugh until you're blue in the face.
Do whatever you need to do to get your mind off the death. Do activities you like to do, make a daily journal and record how you're feeling day by day, and accept any kind of help. There is nothing more therapeutic than talking. Talk to people that you love and that you can trust about the situation and they will for sure give you comfort. You're in a fragile state and the people you love and trust are there to help.
The next step is to carry out the memories. In this stage, you remember the person and never forget the times you spent with them. As you learn to let go, memories are created that you take with the rest of your life. The element of healing comes into effect and the person has a special place in your heart.
So now, you learn to accept it and move on. How? Well, it's now the past. There's no going back. It's up to you whether you live in pain or choose to heal. Help and healing are there, it is possible, but it's only possible if you make it possible. Living in pain and clinging to the wall you can't overcome is very unhealthy and it leaves you with no time to recover. Yes, losing a loved one is very depressing and difficult to live with, but there comes a time where you realize that you have their blessing to live on. They would not want you to suffer the same fate as they did.
Live your life, God bless, let them sleep in peace, and take good care of yourself. I know you can.
