2020 has been a year of complete and utter chaos, throwing us all onto a roller coaster that we did not buy the ticket for.

Feel your anxiety getting higher with each passing day? Of course you do! This year has been HARD, and it's not even over yet.

However, there are some ways to work on making it easier on yourself. There is hope in the beauty of a little thing called self-care.

This year my anxiety got a swift kick in the tail because I was forced to find a way to deal with it in the midst of a global pandemic.

If you're like me and your anxious brain won't shut up most of the time, but is an even bigger chatterbox in the year of chaos, these self-care tactics might be just the thing you need to silence her!

1. Constantly asking myself – what can I control?

The pandemic and COVID-19 are scary because we cannot control them. We can't see germs and we can't see a virus and so anxiety tells us that everything and everyone is a threat. For me this meant adding a new reaction to the fight or flight response; fight, flight, or control. My brain went into overdrive trying to find a way to control a sickness from getting into my home that I just simply cannot control. Instead of driving myself mad with this, I started asking myself every day, "what can I control today?" or "what can I control in my space?". This may seem like a silly, small thing to do but it has been a profound game changer for my mental health. Can I control germs? Nope, but I can clean my space and keep it clutter free so my anxiety isn't as likely to be triggered by mess. Can I control other people's choices? Nope (wouldn't that be nice?), but I can control my own reactions to others and I can choose to react with kindness. Can I control the future? Nope, but I can control this present moment and choose to do something that fills my cup instead of dwelling on what if's that drain it.

2. Getting out of bed

Since the pandemic hit, I have been working from home. This means, I don't need to get up at any certain time or put on pants every day. However, I have found that waking up every day early in the morning when my husband goes to work really starts my day off right. Going to bed and waking up at a normal time keeps my anxiety in check because it provides structure to my day. Now – this is not to say that I put on real pants every day. Some days I am in my pajamas until noon, but I get up early, I have my coffee, and I think about how I want my day to go. That alone time in the quiet, silent, early morning hours is probably the number 1 thing keeping my anxiety at bay during this hectic year.

3. Having a schedule/agenda/to-do list

I noticed when work from home first began that I would just see how much I could get done each day with no real direction or agenda. I would do laundry while on a phone call or wash dishes while listening to a training. There was no separation from home and work and it was actually making me more anxious because I felt overwhelmed with all the tasks sitting around in front of me waiting to be done. Instead, I now operate from a schedule or a to-do list each day. I write things down in that silent morning time mentioned above that I want to accomplish each day. I have a separate list for work and home and I break my day up accordingly. Mornings are usually for work things, while afternoons are spent with personal errands and responsibilities in the house. I also only work from designated areas in the house – not the couch or my bed – so that I feel more productive and able to separate the two lives. This also includes meal planning for my week. On Fridays I pick up my Kroger Clicklist order (GREAT for those of you with anxiety about going into stores right now) and I write out my meals for the next week on a calendar on my fridge. Less to think about, less to worry about, and again – something else I can control.

4. Also scheduling time to do absolutely nothing!

Remember that detail oriented schedule I just talked about? Yeah – that became a source of even more anxiety at first because I felt like I had to finish my ENTIRE TO-DO LIST EVERY SINGLE DAY. Instead, I now schedule time for myself to do absolutely nothing. I can watch trashy television, listen to an audiobook, take a nap, take a walk, do yoga, and just spend time alone doing nothing that has to do with being a responsible adult. This gives my anxiety permission to take a break from starting fires in my brain and just be.

5. Connecting with my spiritual side

I am a religious person, so quarantine has been a great opportunity for me to reconnect with my spiritual side. I joined a Facebook group Bible study specifically for people experiencing fear and anxiety in the year 2020. This was a huge leap for me because it forced me to interact with other people and it also forced me to sit down and reflect on how my anxiety was ruling my life. The Facebook group posted a verse each day to reflect on about fear and anxiety, and it really helped me to hand some of that anxiety over and focus on something so much bigger than this year, or myself. If you're not a religious person, I still recommend finding some sort of Facebook group or Instagram hashtag you can follow about conquering anxiety that is inspiring and uplifting for you.

6. Moving my body/meditation with a purpose/using a mantra

I cannot stress this enough – if you become one with your couch during quarantine, your anxiety will skyrocket. I am the QUEEN of wanting to stay in and binge watch a Netflix show (currently streaming the Umbrella Academy – soooo good), but when I am anxious this only makes things worse. Getting out and moving my body in a purposeful way every single day brings that anxiety down to a manageable level and reminds me that the sunshine and fresh air still exist, even in the midst of what feels like the end of the world. Yoga has been the best way to do this for me. I set an intention and also say a mantra in my head during my yoga flow – something like, "my anxiety does not define me" or "I can be anxious and still worthy". Don't knock it until you try it.

7. Investing my time in getting to know myself

This one was actually a surprising one for me to help my anxiety. I began taking personality tests for fun and learned so much about myself, how I communicate, how I show love, and what my strengths and weaknesses are. (My love language is words of affirmation, My Clifton Strengths re Relator, Maximizer, Discipline, Responsibility, and Achiever, I am a 2w1 on the enneagram, and an ENFJ for anyone wondering!). Just knowing these things about myself and doing further research to understand why I am anxious helped my anxiety calm down a TON! I also started following Instagram accounts with the same personality traits and types as me to feel less alone in my anxiety. The more you know I guess?

8. Trying out new and unique coping skills

This one isn't fun, and is lot of trial and error, but it works! You know those silly lists of coping skills your therapist gives you that say things like, "pet an animal" or "go outside and stare at the clouds" as coping skills? I actually tried all of those! Nothing quite distracts your brain from anxiety like trying to decide if a cloud looks like a duck or a bunny with a popsicle in its mouth! Get outside your comfort zone, be silly, and try some out of the box things to see if it works! On a serious note – I am a therapist myself, and I tried out the TIPP skills I recommend to my own clients and found them very helpful!
T- Temperature. Do something to alter your body temperature. Drink cold water, splash cold water on your face, or – my personal favorite – lay with your bare skin on cold floor.

I-Intense exercise. Shake your sillies out! I like to do it through having a dance party in my living room, but you can also run, jump, ride a bike, or any other intense exercise.

P- Paced breathing. Try out 4-7-8 breathing, which you can learn on YouTube, or any other kind of breathwork that you find works for you. I personally like Lion breaths from yoga practice because they also make me laugh!

P- Progressive muscle relaxation. Tense and relax each of your muscle groups head to toe. Roll your eyes around in your head, make fists and release them, curl your toes up and let them go!

9. Remaining connected to people – at a safe social distance of course

FaceTime has been a life saver for my anxiety during a pandemic. I can feel so disconnected and alone and my anxiety can start to convince me that other people don't miss me, don't need me, and don't want to interact with me which can cause me to isolate. I FaceTime my family and my friends really often and do very intentional text check-ins with those who I haven't FaceTimed that day. I also have been sending some snail mail to my friends as another way to remind others I am thinking about them and feel connected to the outside world. A hug through the mail, if you will.

10. Honoring my anxiety, and just riding it out

Last but certainly not least, I just ride the anxiety out. I let myself feel anxious, notice and honor that I am feeling anxious, and just let myself tolerate the distress. Sometimes to cope with something, you just have to let yourself fully feel it and experience it. It is completely okay to do less and not cope quite as well when you are handling and experiencing so much more. It is also okay to be anxious about the state of our world right now. 2020 has no doubt been a heartbreaking, difficult year filled with a lot of changes, sadness, loss, violence, and grief, so it is only right that you would experience some heavier than normal feelings about that – anxiety included. Honor what you are feeling, let yourself feel it, and then find some healthy way to refill your cup!

2020 isn't over quite yet, but I am so happy you are showing up every day despite your fear and anxiety, and attempting to thrive and survive in the midst of turmoil. Hang in there – and here's to 2021!