Ah, road trips: the moment where the rubber hits the road and you’re off on an adventure bound to be memorable. However, where’s the fun in all the memories unless you have someone to share them with? To be completely honest, your copilot selection can either make or break a trip, as there are some who simply do not “mesh” together once inside an enclosed moving vehicle for hours on end. This to say, the first step in creating an excellent road trip experience is to assess the various breeds of copilots available.

There are several types of travellers existing on our planet. The first of these being what I like to call the “scholars.” Scholars consist of those individuals who simply cannot imagine giving up quality study time for potential relaxation. When put in a situation where one could take either take a quick snooze or rather, read three chapters of a novel written in Arabic, a scholar would most definitely choose the latter. I will say that this individual is more commonly found during the college years, but regardless the insight is still valuable.

The next species of travellers would be those I tend to refer to as the “karaoke-ers.” The karaoke-ers, typically those who provide their own auxiliary cord, pride themselves on their quality song choices of circa 2000 pop hits. Not only do these fine individuals know every song to come on, they even attempt to sing along to the one’s they have yet to experience in their lifetime. Earphones have not yet been discovered in the land of the karaoke-ers, and screeching is always encouraged. Scholars and karaoke-ers are generally not compatible, however you may come across the occasional hybrid.

This next category of human holds a special place in my heart, not because I would classify myself as being one, but simply because I do not understand how they do not die of boredom. The “gazers” are those who find simple pleasure in staring out the window for hours on end. I would like to think that they may be pondering various philosophical theories, but I guess only time will tell if any real progress has been made in that area. These silent brooders are bound to find the cure for something, but in the meantime, you’ll find them directing their attention to whatever may be beyond the glass.

Last but not least, are the “narcoleptics.” Narcoleptics quickly find themselves dozing off to the rhythmic motion of tires cruising down the pavement. No matter the distance standing between them and their destination, these individuals fully invest their time in catching up on some quality REM. Be wary of waking a narcoleptic though, as no amount of rest will be sufficient.

Selecting a copilot is serious business and should not be taken lightly. From music genre to snack food options, any road trip has the ability to fall into shambles with just the blink of an eye. Though, this is by no means meant to discourage those who have yet to discover a compatible car companion. I’ll admit, the responsibilities are heavy; though, with proper preparation and evaluation, it can be hoped that an elite passenger will step up to the plate.