As I come upon my 21st year of life, I sit back and reflect on my past and how I interacted socially in school. I am not ashamed to admit that I was not the most popular student. With my books and secret love of sci-fi and cartoons, I never really stood a chance to be considered “cool”. I was a social outcast amongst my peers, never truly having a group to belong to. I had acquaintances who I thought were friends, but I have learned with time that they were probably in my life for some moral lessons. What I wouldn’t give to be able to go back and tell teenage me that it’s not the end just because we are not going to all the parties or out every night getting into mischief. I think if I would have known then what I know now, I would have been better off.
Watching movies and shows that displayed the status quo of high school really took a toll on my self-esteem. With shows like Glee and Degrassi that displayed how students were condemned for being different, it was really hard trying to be true to myself. I thought that I wasn’t popular if I were not a part of a sport or some natural beauty. I truly believed that if I did not have these qualities, my peer would never accept me. It seemed as if the world would end if I did not have the approval of my peers. Now, I know that their opinions do not matter. I literally cannot even remember half of my old classmate’s names, much less what they were “popular” for. What does come to mind; however, is how they carried themselves and how they treated others. Some were rude and blatantly did not respect the people around them. Although I was eager to belong, I knew I would never stoop to that level of disrespect. I cannot fathom why I would want to be like them now. I guess when I was a high schooler it just seemed so monumental to be cool; however, now I look back and just laugh at the idiocy of high school. Those kids you once idolized are now at the bottom of the totem pole trying to find out who they are. We are all the same regardless of what we thought in high school.
Once your four years of high school are over, those silly ideals you once abided by no longer matter. I personally came into my own being with no weight of social pressure on my shoulders. I could be a goofy nerd without a care to how others viewed my personality. I garnered a new found love and appreciation for myself that I had never had before. For the first time in my life I was truly comfortable in my own skin. I had friends who accepted me flaws and all with no thought to how others perceived my actions. Whatever others had thought of me no longer mattered. Only I had the power to decide who I was going to be. So, for all those who want to be “cool”, just know that people don’t remember you for that temporary stature. The thing that you will always be known for is how you carried yourself and how you treated others.
