I will be the first person to tell you that first dates can be extremely awkward. You like someone, they like you, now it’s time to put it to the test and see if the conversation flows and if this might actually go somewhere. I’ve been on my fair share of first dates, and I’ve been on my fair share of first dates that I knew would not turn into second dates. Why? Mostly because of poor or awkward conversation. Here are some topics to avoid on a first date:
Marriage/Kids
Ladies, I’m looking at you. Do not drop this bomb. Men are simple creatures that don’t typically plan their wedding days or kid’s names. The second you start pulling out your wedding Pinterest board and talking about that cushion cut diamond you’re in love with, he’s going to run for the hills and tell his friends you’re crazy with a capital K.
Yourself
Sure, you’re going to talk about yourself a little bit. This is a first date right? You’re going to want to get to know each other. But if you’re looking for things to talk about, do not go on and on about yourself. Ask questions. I can’t tell you how many dates I’ve been on where the guy didn’t ask me one question about myself or my interests and I knew it wasn’t going to go anywhere. No, I do not care about your protein intake or the details of your gym routine or how much you love model airplanes. Sure, these things are okay to mention, but don’t ramble about them and forget that there is another person sitting across from you. Ask questions, make the conversation 50: 50.
Other people
When I say this, I mean your ex, Becky with the good hair, or your friend who’s being a total beezy that week. Talking poorly about others is a bad reflection on you. So ladies, don’t talk badly about your friends or your ex. If the topic comes up, gently push it aside with something like “Yes, I had a bad relationship, but that’s in the past and I’m moving forward.” Don’t talk about how he never bought you flowers and how you’re still devastated about how he loved his car more than you. Gentlemen, same goes for you. The second you name drop a girl we are remembering that name to Facebook stalk when we get home (maybe that’s just me). Keep the conversation away from others unless it’s mutual friends or if you have something positive to say. You don’t want to be a gossip.
Politics or Religion
Believe me when I say I’m the first one to ramp up a political or religious debate with someone. I love to argue. However, this might be something to save for later on down the road. The second you pull out your pocket Bible or start asking me my opinion on Syrian refugees or abortion, I might get a little freaked out. Your beliefs don’t have to align perfectly, but in order for something to be long lasting you need to agree somewhat on these foundation topics. Don’t completely dismiss these topics, but it might be a little much for a casual first date setting.
Partying
Nothing sends me running faster than a guy that says he parties every night. I can imagine it’s the same for men as well. This shows me that your priorities are way out of line and that you might not be in a place where you want a serious relationship. We all have our nights and our stories where things got a little crazy, but if our conversations involve you showing me videos of that one time you did a keg stand at your fraternity function and how "dope it was", I’m probably going to ask for the check.
Conversations have a natural ebb and flow (hopefully). So it’s possible that you may drift into one of these topics and that’s okay. Don’t completely dismiss anything, and don’t freak out if the conversation goes deeper than you intended. That’s a good thing, and it means that you’re able to naturally converse and have a good talk. The key is to be yourself and to always be interested in what the other person has to say. Doing this will guarantee, if nothing else, genuine first date conversation and maybe a second date.
