You are your own worst enemy.

In one way or another, this statement will be applicable to most people at some point in their lives. There will come a point where self-love becomes difficult, and all you can see in yourself are the shortcomings, the flaws. However, it's important to confront your inner critic.

For instance:

The following is a note I wrote on my phone my junior year of high school, discovered after looking through some old files. Now, after closer examination, I have found a few problems with it - which is common for all writers, to be sure - but I figure, this is a learning opportunity! So, I would like to offer a few corrections.

Please note: corrections are indented and italicized.

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I am a virus. It took me a while to come to terms with that fact.

Alright, already going to stop you. You're not a virus, you're something much worse - a young human being who doesn't quite know what you are yet. You do exhibit some of the characteristics of a virus - such as dependency on another, but even at this point in your life, you're trying to fix that, grow out of that.

I know, because the antibodies of this student body are targeting me. Whether I am a threat or not is debated, but I am definitely foreign. Should I try to thrive - or survive - here, its immediately evident why that is just not a good idea at all. I'm allowed to exist, but in a way completely parallel to the rest - no connections, no contact - and I should be grateful that I am allowed to exist in their world, shouldn't I?

You gave up before you tried to connect to those "antibodies". This isolation is self-imposed. You constructed their rejection because you were afraid to reach out. You justified your own refusal of them. You made them out to be villains. You built a fort on an island in the middle of a frozen sea – and then you were hurt because you were alone.

If I ever get the nerve to protest this, I am reminded of how easily disposable I am.

Never disposable. You had worth- you have worth. You just didn’t believe in it. You couldn’t see the good in yourself, and as a result, thought that nobody else could, either.

I feel their eyes on me like so many beams of light focused through a magnifying glass, as if they know that their gazes alone are going to be enough to get rid of me. They'd be right.

You are so much stronger than you think you are.

Which, ironically enough, is why I won't write myself off yet. I don't want to give them the satisfaction. I'm living on out of spite - isn't that such a good reason to keep living? If I kill myself, no one would be surprised. They'd know it was only a matter of time. They can smell weakness on a person, after all, and I'm certain I've always reeked of it. If anything, they'd be surprised it took so long. "Oh, ------ killed themself? I called that."

First of all! Who are these monsters you have constructed? “They can smell weakness” – really? Can they? I don’t think you ever believed they were so cruel. I think you felt forgotten, overlooked, lost, and you had to tie the blame to a person, rather than deal with yourself. They would not have called it. You hid that hurt so carefully. You failed to communicate your problems, and then decided that your voice was unheard.

Every time I'm about to do it, I hear that conversation in my head. It's the only thing that stops me, every time. How sad is that? Its not the thought of leaving my family, or "friends" - its the imaginary conversation of the people who stare holes into my back every day.

I know you thought this at the time, but you’re really selling yourself short, here – you survived because you were stronger than the darkness that ate at your insides. You used whatever you could to hold on, and you should feel no remorse from that. All you can do is recognize it and move on.

So I don't do it. I go on. And I hate myself. I hate my weakness, I hate my fragility, I hate my own spite - I hate how all I can do is hate, all I can be is hated. I hate the paradox this causes, and wish that someone else was given my life, somehow - maybe someone who could use the advantages I've been offered to their potential and actually make a difference, instead of cowering in fear at everything, and hating it all as a coping mechanism.

So. I am alive. The paradox of my nature keeps me that way. I don't know for how long.

You got so caught up in that cruel cycle. You were lost and confused and validated yourself in ways that helped you get by. Through all of that negativity, though, you did always recognize that you could do better – that you had potential. The main problem is that you lost hope – in yourself, in the world, maybe. The veil fell over your eyes and turned you blind to sunlight. But you knew it existed. You didn’t deny the sun because you lived in the shade. You underestimated your endurance so much, but look at you – you’re still kickin’, learning new things every day, coming to terms with life and change and growth. You keep that tiny ember always burning, that tiny fire you call “potential”, always in your belly. Your flames may die down but they never go out – and all the hardships you endure only make you better at defending that flame. You’re not perfect, and you won’t be – but you’re here and you’re you. And that’s what matters.

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While not all of us tend to write down the negative thoughts we aim at ourselves, it's a good idea to look at yourself - and your views of yourself - objectively and argue against them from time to time. Look at your situation, look at possible options, accept how things turned out. Accept your failures and grow from them - don't beat yourself up for being human and having shortcomings. Take the time to learn from yourself.