As I was flipping through my book of 300 creative writing prompts, the following line caught my eye…
"If you were to break up with your life what would you say and how would you do it?"
It was a crisp day in Columbia, Missouri and as I sit on my bed, with fall on the rise, I was flipping through my book of creative writing prompts when all of a sudden one of the pages caught my eye. At the top of the right page was the following line: "If you were to break up with your life what would you say and how would you do it?" I took a deep breath and decided to sit on it. I took a sip of my coffee and pondered what I would do if I had the chance to break up with my life and move on. It didn't take long before I started to envision myself screaming at myself in the mirror, or in this make believe world, there were two of me and one was screaming while the other stay silent digesting the harsh words and high pitched tones.
I would say things like "wake up, this isn't all just a dream" "why do you let this life throw you around?" "you deserve more than what you allow yourself to have". For those involved in toxic relationships they usually end up having realizations that they deserve a better life than constant worry and hurt. Just like relationships between two people, I believe that we can be involved in toxic relationships with ourselves. And these are the ones that we cannot so easily just say goodbye to. I believe it takes a lot of courage and self-love to remind yourself that the way you treat yourself plays a huge role in your outlook on life as well as your quality of life.
You don’t have to wait for the new year to make a cheap resolution promising yourself that you'll give self-love a try. You don't have to ask for approval or wait for a green light. You just need to know that you want more for your life and you can start there. We get so comfortable with who we are and what we do whether it be fruitful or injurious.
This can be so dangerous to our lives long term. If we cannot forgive ourselves for the past we will never be able to move on. If we do not recognize filthy vices that have consumed our lives we will never be able to live out the virtues that were meant for us. I think the worst part is thinking that your life has to be the way that it is and you were destined for such a life. But quite the opposite is promised for us. We were meant to live a life full of color and vibrance. We are supposed to laugh until our stomach hurts, and eat snow cones that turn our mouths blue. It isn't supposed to be perfect, it's supposed to be messy. A balance between crazy and calm. But sometimes our lives become enveloped with madness and experiences that eventually break us.
So why do we stay stagnant? Why do we choose to stay in the rut we are currently living in?
If you were given the chance to break up with your life would you do it?