"Self-control, which is colloquially often referred to as willpower, is defined as the capacity to consciously shape one's behavior and to bring it in line with social standards or long-term goals" (Bernecker & Job, 2017, p.157). It is often assumed that because emotions can be inherently overwhelming and because they elicit a physiological response, sometimes human beings are incapable of controlling their emotions. The short answer to this statement is: wrong. While there are external factors at play in every scenario, in a general sense, humans are capable of regulating and influencing their own emotions. Before we can assess ways to regulate our emotions, it must first be established that emotional regulation is not to be interchanged with repression. As I have discussed in previous posts, repressing emotions is not an effective coping mechanism or an effective way to regulate your emotional responses. Repression can lead to greater issues such as symptoms of anxiety, depression, elevated blood pressure, and so forth. Now that we have that important discrepancy established, we can discuss some effective ways for regulating and controlling your emotions. First, identifying and accepting your emotions can be a powerful asset to assessing ways to regulate your emotions. If one can learn to identify an emotion and accept it regardless of how uncomfortable it may be, one can then learn ways to regulate those emotions in a healthy manner. Second, an effective way to regulate emotion is by utilizing our physiological factors. For instance, while it may seem ridiculous at the moment, taking slow, controlled deep breaths can actually be an effective way to de-escalate an emotional response. Breathing exercises can often be effective grounding techniques to help us to take a step back and lessen the immediate intensity of our emotions. Next, staying aware of our stress levels and altering our habits and rituals can really help to control and regulate our emotions. For example, getting enough sleep, going on walks, meditating, and making time for friends or hobbies can help to control stress levels that otherwise lead to uncontrolled emotional responses. Lastly, prioritizing your mental health is a really important factor in emotional regulation. In the midst of the chaos that life brings, we can often forget to foster our sense of self-care and personal needs. Being open about your feelings and talking to a therapist can be great ways to keep our emotions from spiraling out of control.

References:

Bernecker, K., & Job, V. (2017). Implicit theories about willpower in resisting temptations and emotion control. Zeitschrift Für Psychologie, 225(2), 157–166. https://doi.org/10.1027/2151-2604/a000292