I believe that everyone starts out as a whole person, that when you are born, your soul and spirit are whole and intact and it makes up who you are. I think that there's a point where, once we've grown up a little and get out into the world, we start losing pieces of ourselves, pieces so small that we don't even realize that they're gone, at least not at first. The sad part is, for some people, this starts so early that it becomes a habit.
There's a point where we begin to realize that those pieces are missing. Sometimes it takes so long to notice that when we do notice, it's because there's a metaphorical gaping hole in our chest where those pieces of you used to be. Or maybe it's that you have realized that the pieces were starting to go missing, but you ran out of the tape and glue to continue putting yourself back together because you've been taken down one too many times.
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There was a point where you realized that the pieces of you that you were giving up so willingly, so effortlessly, were causing you to lose sight of who you are, sometimes to the point where you look in the mirror and the person who's supposed to be you is someone you no longer recognize.
So you pick up your tape and your glue and start rebuilding, again, but not before getting knocked down a couple more times so you feel like you're not sure you can get back up again. So you get up again anyways because that's what you do because failure is not an option. Giving up is not an option.
So you continue to tape and glue yourself back together and get back out of bed no matter how much you don't want to, and you hold your head high and smile and pretend to be okay no matter if you're actually okay or not.
Someday, and someday may be far away, but someday the pieces will come back together. The tape and the glue will hold. The pain and longing for who you once were will lessen. You will begin to feel whole again.
Continue picking up your pieces, and you will get there.
