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The Only Five Contestants On "The Bachelorette" Worth Paying Attention To

The rest are creepy and weird and dressed up like Santa Claus.

Maddie Schiff

May 30, 2016

Kenyon College

The Only Five Contestants On "The Bachelorette" Worth Paying Attention To

Chicago Now

I'm a die hard "Bachelor"/"Bachelorette" fan and have been since the days of Brad Womack. Last season was tumultuous and set us up for what's sure to be a heart-wrenching season with Jojo. In my opinion, these are the only guys worth paying any attention to...

1. Chad

In his online bio Chad states that the person he admires most in the world is "himself in 10 years alright, alright, alright." If that isn't enough to consider him an entertaining contestant, he also seems scary and aggressive and will more likely than not make Jojo cry. He also said his greatest achievement is being handsome...

2. Jordan

Because he won the first impression rose, he's automatically someone to pay attention to. Personally, I think he looks like a cartoon character, but Jojo definitely dug him. His brother is a famous football player and I'm sure that will cause some sort of drama. In his bio,he said his greatest role models are his grandparents...seems like a nice enough guy.

3. Luke

Probably only important because he's handsome, but will definitely hang in there for a while. He also looks just like Chad and Jordan, so it's clear that Jojo has a type. When asked what being married means to him he said, "It means two people who consider themselves best friends, lovers and soul mates, decide to take on life together and build a life and family of their own. " I'm pretty sure he just googled the definition of marriage.

4. Robby

Robby also looks just like the rest of the contestants so that means he will probably go far. Based on the first episode he seems to have a lot of opinions and will definitely be involved in some "bro" drama. He's also a former competitive swimmer, which means he'll look great during all the group dates on the beach.

5. Wells

Wells is my personal favorite, but I don't think he stands a chance against the muscular, scruffy and chiseled men. He's endearing enough to make it through the first few rounds, but Jojo will quickly realize that he's no Jordan and reluctantly send him home. He's also one of the only contestants who didn't list "handsome" as one of his three best attributes.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Recommended for you

The Only Five Contestants On "The Bachelorette" Worth Paying Attention To

The rest are creepy and weird and dressed up like Santa Claus.

1. Chad

2. Jordan

3. Luke

4. Robby

5. Wells

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"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

Please hold your blonde joke.

1. "Is Elle Woods your spirit animal?"

2. "Is that your natural hair color?"

3. "Oh wow, you get good grades at school?"

4. "You must really like the color pink!"

5. "You’re probably not into sports, right?"

6. "You must have such a bubbly personality."

7. "Your wardrobe must consist of all things preppy."

8. "What sorority are you in?"

9. "You were probably a cheerleader in high school."

10. "You look like you’re from L.A. because your hair is so light."

11. "You definitely like Pumpkin Spiced Lattes from Starbucks!"

12. "Do you actually think blondes have more fun?"

13. "You must encompass the typical “white girl” stereotype."

14. "Is that daddy’s credit card you’re using?"

15. "So all of your friends are blonde too?"

16. "I’m surprised about you; I thought you would be a lot ditsier."

The world's greatest university meets the world's greatest show.

1. When you get your acceptance letter

2. When you try to figure out how class enrollment works

3. When it’s move in day

4. When you arrive on campus and see all of the attractive people

5. FROG Week

6. When you find your squad

7. When you visit DHall (RIP) or EHall for the first time

8. When you take on way too many credits

9. When you go to your first party at JMU

10. When the rival school shows up for the homecoming game (or any game really)

11. Sunday Brunch

12. When you see the infamous “preacher” for the first time

13. The first snow day

14. Madipalooza

15. When finals week rolls around

16. When you have to say goodbye

17. And when you finally get to go back

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