This semester, I am taking a class called Mindfulness Awareness, and so far I am loving every minute of it. One night I was reading some pages for a nightly assignment when I came across a very exciting concept of mindfulness.
The well-known definition of mindfulness is simply the act of being present. But what does it mean to be present? Simply not thinking about the past or future? Engaging in an activity that requires full focus? Jon Kabat-Zinn believes it is more than that. In his book, Mindfulness for Beginners, he says, “Ultimately, I see mindfulness as a love affair- with life…” The second I read that line in his book, I scrambled around my dorm room to find a pen or highlighter to mark it.
I found it to be such a thrilling concept, I never thought about it that way, and it makes so much sense. I think it will get more people more excited about practicing mindfulness. Right now I think people see meditation, and mindfulness as a yogi-hippie kind of thing. So it has a weird stigma to it. But as the mental health field continues to grow, that vibe will go away.
Everybody has a relationship in his/her/their lives where it really helps them grow as a person. Mindfulness is mimicking the dynamics of that special person in our lives. How often do we get to sit down and ask how we are, and how our day is going? Mindfulness is dedicating a small pocket of time in the day to be your own partner. Jon Kabat-Zinn says that mindfulness is a great way to create “intimacy with your own mind…”
I think once we become familiar with meditation, that is when we can start to catch feelings for living. And when that happens, the practice of mindfulness is a no-brainer. The more we practice, it will really feel like a relationship. So we are looking at mindfulness as an act of love. Think of it this way, we are simply swiping right on ourselves.
Now, you’re probably wondering, how exactly can I practice mindfulness this way?
If you’re familiar with meditation, you’ve probably been told to not think about anything, and just focus on breathing. But that’s not going to work for every single soul on this planet. I need someone to guide me through it. I need structure, I’m that person who will be less anxious when I know what the hell I’m doing. So let’s do this step by step.
Muscle Relaxation
Go ahead and get ~comfy~ (;
But seriously, I can’t meditate without doing this first, there’s a ton of videos on youtube, and meditation apps that help guide you through the process. It’s great for when you’re having trouble falling asleep, experiencing muscle tension, or really any minor aches. Start with your toes, and end with your forehead.
Checking-in
So this is what you’re going to do instead of just breathing, or trying to imagine yourself somewhere tropical. If you’re like me, then you always do what your heart tells you to do, and half of the time you don’t like what your heart wants, and we don’t always realize it. Checking in is the perfect time to really ask yourself how you are feeling, and to evaluate all of the stuff your heart wants.
Now is your chance to say no! It is completely okay to say no to your own heart because I promise you will be so much happier in the long run if you say it when your brain doesn’t feel good. I’ve been doing that since the semester started, and it has definitely been way more effective for me than just breathing.
Happy Stuff
So sometimes evaluating your heart’s orders can be stressful and painful, believe me, I’ve been there. Instead of feeling like crap when you open your eyes, it’s good to end on a good note. We often daydream when we are not supposed to, so here’s some designated time! Think about puppies or that one person who makes you feel amazing, anything you want!
Wakey-wakey!
Once you’ve occupied your mind with some feel-good thoughts, you’re ready to finish the meditation!
When we take the time to check in with ourselves, we will be closer to falling in love with living. We'll be really taking the time to listen, so then we can focus on the important things, and live our best lives!
References
Jon Kabat-Zinn, Mindfulness for Beginners, Reclaiming the present moment --- and your life, 2012
