Perhaps it is the consumer culture that has been part and parcel of American society that magnifies the urgent sense of remaining relevant by buying the newest gadget or being up to date with the newest trend. And by no means am I writing this piece to establish an apologetic narrative warning against the evils of wanting to be relevant—it is after all a very natural sentiment. What I do want to express in this piece is my frustration with how many of us have at times allowed the materialistic agenda of others in our life to permeate our list of priorities and the reactionary sentiment that one at times hides behind to legitimize going on a shopping spree. Being relevant should be an exercise that one pursues in an attempt to establish oneself, to create a place wherever one goes in a manner that remains cognizant of those around one. However, more and more often, being relevant has become synonymous with upping the ante, a race in which the winner is always the one who can stand out by buying the most at the fastest rate possible. The problem with this practice is that it creates a false sense of self in which the sentiment of feeling accomplished becomes intertwined--in time, more with one’s ability to finance an increasingly expensive lifestyle than with dedicating one’s efforts to a discipline worthwhile. And in the absence of being able to finance an expensive lifestyle, anxiety ensues.

Social media plays a big role in magnifying the general anxiety that comes with trying to remain relevant and gradually changing one’s agenda of priorities to fit what everybody else is doing. I was not thinking about Iphones, but I just checked on Instagram and saw that my best friend got an Iphone X and now, all of a sudden, I find myself obsessed with trying to get a new phone; I was feeling great all day, but I just checked on Facebook and saw that my homegirl got married over the weekend and now I begin to feel lonely and wonder why I have not gotten married as well. The problem is not having these thoughts, but following through with them when one is not emotionally or economically ready to do so—rushing into making a decision because one does not want to pause and reflect on whether or not it is in one’s best interest to constantly be and feel pressured by other people’s agenda. It is through social media and what we post on it that we let people know that we are okay, that all is going well in our lives, but on the receiving end of that equation, we also have to develop an internal response to how we consume what others are doing at any given time: Learning to arrive at one’s goals at our own pace, learning not to diminish our own triumphs because they may not mirror those of others; being content with one’s own definition of accomplishment.