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What's It Like To Be A Conspiracy Theory Junkie

JonBenet Ramsey-we're talking about you girl.

Oct 01, 2018

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We all hear them and we all know the super famous ones, but what's it like to be a conspiracy theory junkie? My roommate is a conspiracy theory lover and hearing her talk about some of her favorite theories is absolutely amazing. I've noticed some interesting aspects of a conspiracy theory junkie since living with her and here are just a few.

1. Whenever I start telling her a story she tries to give a bunch of reasons for why the situation happened

So with conspiracy theories there's a lot of different views on why something happened the way it did and whenever I am telling her any story she tries to decipher a million different reasons for why the situation happened.

2. She loves watching any documentary you put in front of her

Oh my goodness, once she starts in on a documentary she CANNOT STOP watching!

3. She wants to know everything

I'm talking about everything. She wants to know every small fact about any situation. She honestly lives for it.

4. She can recite any kidnapping story out there

This is where she thrives. The kidnapping conspiracies for unsolved mysteries are the theories that she loves the most so if anyone ever has a question about a famous kidnapping she can probably tell you whatever you need to know.

5. She randomly just tells me facts about different cases

This kind of goes along with number four because not only does she know everything but she also likes to tell everyone everything she knows whether they ask her or not. However, it is pretty cool the little facts I get here or there.

6. She loves reading all the blogs about the different conspiracy theories

It's awesome when I come home and she's reading something written by someone random about a very random cold case that happened years ago. She very much enjoys spending her time doing this!

7. Whenever she sees an ambulance sirens or police cars she wants to know exactly where they're going and doing

She loves to ask a bunch of question whenever she sees emergency vehicles because like I said before she loves knowing exactly everything even if it's gruesome.

8. "Unsolved cases are like candy to me."

You heard it here folks. She loves unsolved cases and she just eats it all right up. If they aren't solved then she'll make it her mission to try and solve it herself.

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What's It Like To Be A Conspiracy Theory Junkie

JonBenet Ramsey-we're talking about you girl.

In This Article:

1. Whenever I start telling her a story she tries to give a bunch of reasons for why the situation happened

2. She loves watching any documentary you put in front of her

3. She wants to know everything

4. She can recite any kidnapping story out there

5. She randomly just tells me facts about different cases

6. She loves reading all the blogs about the different conspiracy theories

7. Whenever she sees an ambulance sirens or police cars she wants to know exactly where they're going and doing

8. "Unsolved cases are like candy to me."

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Sleepovers are not a thing. They're just not.

1. You only ask things once.

2. Seriously, you only ask once.

3. When you do muster up the courage to ask your parents for something, you creep around and wait until they’re in a good mood.

4. Before you get that final yes, you have to go through an interview.

5. If you ever got “the eye,” you knew you were screwed.

6. You were always the first to leave your group of friends when hanging out.

7. If you say you will be home at a certain time, you better be home at that time.

8. Seeing a missed call from your parents sends fear and horror through your veins.

9. If relatives are coming over to the house, your room better be clean.

10. You are careful about what jokes you share with your parents.

11. "You’re not an adult until you turn 18! You can do whatever you want then!"

12. If plans change while you’re out, you better text or call.

13. Don’t talk back. Ever.

14. When you’re called by your full name, you’re in deep trouble.

15. Don’t make them call your name twice.

16. Sleepovers are not a thing.

17. Despite all of these things, you know your parents love you.

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1. Pets

2. Mornings

3. Mistakes

4. Cooking for yourself

5. Hosting

6. Taking care of yourself

7. Holidays

8. Roommates

9. Keeping focused and getting stuff done

10. Cleaning

11. Social life

No, really. I'm not mad. Just hungry.

1. You’re tired of people asking you if you know what “RBF” stands for every time you zone out.

2. You’re constantly using the excuse, “I’m just tired” when people ask you if you’re mad.

3. Or “I’m just thinking.”

4. In fact, you’re rarely ever actually mad.

5. But when you are, people usually can’t tell.

6. You find other people with RBF’s and have to convince yourself that you don’t look like them.

7. You constantly remind yourself, “At least I’m not a psycho.”

Some of your best ideas come through boredom.

1. If the professor is late by one minute, I'm leaving.

2. Oh crap, that's due TODAY?!

3. Can I nap in here?

4. I wonder what they're serving at the cafeteria.

5. How much does my teacher even get paid?

6. How much will I get paid?

7. This is the longest 50 minutes of my life.

8. Maybe if I call mom, she'll give me money.

9. How much do street performers make anyway?

10. Why am I here? I could be a street performer by now.

11. Oh right, I'm not talented.

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