My opinion on consent is not a difficult concept, so I am flustered and confused as to why when I tell people my view they come up with all of these arguments. My opinion on consent is as follows: two completely sober people, just in case there is any misconception, that means not under the influence of either drugs and/or alcohol, must have a resounding yes, no ifs, ands or buts. If it is not a hell yes, it’s a no; if it is a maybe or it takes convincing, it’s a no. By the way, just so you know, convincing someone into it is called coercion and will result in a guilty verdict in the eyes of the law.

The first argument I always get is: but they should know what they are doing even when under the influence. Well number one, the first part of the brain that goes, especially under the influence of alcohol, is the part that holds one’s inhibitions. That’s why when you’re drinking, you get a little loose, dance a little crazier and flirt a little more; that means that you’re not exactly in the right mindset to be making these important decisions. Then there is always the blacking out that can occur. While in the moment, sex may be something that you want, but you could wake up the next morning and realize that you do not remember what happened or that you didn’t really want it in the first place. If you did decide to take that person to court, male or female, your case would stand.

The next argument that I keep getting is: What if we are dating? Let me just clear this up; when you are dating or married to someone, you in no way owe them sex, and you still have every right to withdraw consent. That means when either of you is under the influence, you cannot consent; this means that it is rape. So no, this is not a valid argument.

The last one I want to touch on is: It’s not sexy. I do not care; no one cares. Consent isn’t about being sexy; it’s about being considerate, safe, and just a good human in general. Please start asking people; do not just do it. Society has conditioned us, particularly males, into this masculine mindset where they are weak if they ask if things are OK. Ask someone if it is OK to kiss them; it doesn’t make you less manly, or less romantic. It makes you safe.

I am enraged by the fact that my stance on consent is even up for debate. I know that the word rape is an ugly and scary word, but you must come face to face with your actions at some point. Please start having sober and consensual sex. Please stop letting society control your thoughts and ideas, and think for yourself. If it is not a sober hell yes, it is a no.