93% of communication is nonverbal, the other seven percent is verbal. No, you are not reading this statistic wrong.
The look on your face often contradicts the words that come out of your mouth. If you go on social media often you probably see the word "consent" quite often. You may look at the bullet points beneath the heading, nod, and continue to scroll.
For those of you who scroll past I would like to inform you that there is so much more to consent than a simple "yes" or "no." Consent is the look on someone's face, the way their body moves, and their tone of voice.
As a whole, we also must understand that consent is not just for women. There have been plenty of instances where men do not feel comfortable in sexual situations and they're expected not to say anything "because they're guys." Men and women are wired differently when it comes to sex, but that does not mean the rules of consent do not apply to both genders.
Think of a typical frat party: everyone is bunched together, sweating and drinking, and it is often hard to hear. This is where a lot of hookups begin. While it is loud and most people's judgments are impaired, you will see a lot of people making out and dancing with each other.
Most people do not approach someone and ask, "Hey, can I make out with you?" It kind of just happens. There have been many situations where women have pushed men off of them, but men cannot do the same thing because of the double standard.
In regards to my last statement: I am not justifying men hitting women, or vice versa. I believe that in these situations consent applies. You have no right to touch someone, even if it isn't "supposed to be sexual."
It's awkward to go up to someone and ask, "Yo, want to like, kiss me?," but that's where you have to be creative. Pull them aside, shake hands, say something. Do NOT just walk up to them and start grinding on them and do not just lean in and kiss them.
Taking this out of a party setting, hookups are bound to happen. This is where a combination of verbal and non-verbal communication are very important. You must state what your intentions are regardless of how "weird you feel". There's no such thing as, "You were fine earlier." A person can change their mind, and it is their right to get up and leave.
When you ask for consent you must read their body language. If their eyes are darting and they seem shaky but still manage to mumble a hesitant, "Yes," that means "NO." If a person is intoxicated that's a given no, even if they repeatedly say that they want to.
I cannot emphasize enough how important nonverbal communication is during these times. A "yes" is not enough, especially if they are visibly nervous.
Consent is not gendered. You cannot assume that someone "is always down" because of their gender.
Men and women are biologically different, but deserve the same respect and peace of mind.
