A bully is someone who points out the wrong in others to make themselves feel better, and that is what I feel you are.
And an insecure person like the rest of us, not willing to admit it, and only willing to look at the bad in all of the rest of us.
I bite my tongue, I put my head down, look the other way, but you know how to push buttons.
A bully knows how to strike a nerve know one knew they had, like a sniper who makes the perfect shot out of nowhere.
That's what you do to me.
I'm done being your punching bag or rag doll,
I'm done being your gossip of the week, or the "friend," to make you feel better about yourself.
That's now how friendship works.
We don't put others down to make ourselves feel better, and we don't silently judge, we practice honesty, and confront others, rather than allow pent up anger and jealousy spew out through hurtful words and comments.
I'm done being the friend people can use to make themselves feel smarter, prettier, or more accomplished than.
I'm done being the person anyone can belittle, or judge.
Not by changing your opinion, because that can never happen.
But rather by cutting things out.
Like any good gardener, you must cut out the weeds to allow other things to grow.
One of the hardest things I've had to learn as an adult is that not everyone will like you, and that's okay. And we won't be friends with everyone, friendships can happen in seasons.
I'm sorry that I made you feel this level of insecurity, that you felt that you could use me, and wish you could be honest with yourself instead, confronting the real issue.
I'm done with the competitions, I'm done with the comparisons.
You can have it, whatever makes it easier for you.
And you can use the private details I've shared with you, the dark parts of my heart that you're aware of, and use it against me if that makes you feel better.
I'm negative, but that doesn't mean I can't be positive.
I'm short tempered at times, judgmental, lazy, crazy, silly, and wrong, but that doesn't define who I am.
Because I would like to live a life that's honest. I wish you could see that.
And recognize we all have darkness, weak spots, and imperfections.
I wish you didn't bottle up all your emotions, I wish you didn't put on your masks, and let your hair down.
You don't have to be perfect, and image or a reputation is not everything.
You don't have to convince or prove anything to anyone.
I'm okay with knowing I have struggles you don't have, that you are in fact stronger in some areas that I am not.
Because we're different.
But sometimes opposites don't attract, and different is too different.
I'm done with being the person you can walk all over, to make your pain seem less painful.
This is not a friendship.