I can’t keep track of the amount of times I’ve gazed at myself in my dirty mirror before a night out, and felt a wave of guilt for admitting I look good. In the age of selfies and sharing every bit of our lives, there’s definitely been a shift in the way girl’s view themselves. With every Twitter scroll, I see more and more girls boasting their stellar highlight or marveling at their perfect eyebrows, while very clearly stating all the while that they require no approval or validation from others.
This Twitter/Instagram trend has undoubtedly sparked my confidence level, and the ping of selfishness I feel whenever I open my camera for a selfie has slowly diminished. My take: There’s nothing wrong with admitting you look good, in fact it is absolutely crucial that you learn to do so. There’s nothing more rewarding, cleansing, and healthy than looking at your face and loving what you see. But wait – admitting you’re pretty means you’re conceited, right? The answer has become complicated. While it was once popular for us to put ourselves down, more and more girls seem to be slowly embracing their flaws, and learning to compliment rather complain when it comes to their appearance.
When my friends and I are preparing for a night out, I almost always hear a comment along the lines of “we have to take a picture, I look so cute!” Or, “okay honestly my hair looks so good like this.” These self-compliments are always met with encouraging words of agreement, and lots of laughs. I love when my friends compliment themselves, I welcome it. Seeing a strong self-esteem in someone you love only intensifies the amount you have in yourself. I feed off of other’s confidence. If the rest of my friends are feeling themselves, I know I should be too.
However, there is most definitely a line. I asked a handful of college girls at the University of Delaware what they thought conceited meant, and I received the same response from almost all of them. “Confident is knowing you’re beautiful, conceited is putting others down because of it.”
In this day and age, their opinions could not be more true. I’ve seen girls bring each other down, comparing their features, their makeup, or their body to others. One of the things girls struggle with the most is comparison, and when we animate that, it becomes an even realer problem.
Internet trends like the popular “me vs you” photos have been taken social media by storm, and seem to be a girl’s go-to defense in any Twitter fight. Although these photos appear to be a funny, lighthearted trend, more than half of the girls I spoke to said the photos had made them feel inferior or inadequate at some point.
Loving ourselves often begins when we learn to love and respect those around us, and realize that all girls are beautiful in their own way. Self-esteem is a delicate thing that can easily be shattered into a thousand pieces. It is not something that can be glued back together overnight. Developing a strong self-image is a process. Realizing your worth is a slow and steady journey that is not to be rushed. Movements like #inshapemyshape and #bodyposi are not meant to be dove into headfirst.
There are still days where I feel exasperated and defeated when struggling over which picture to post. This is me telling you that you are not alone. You are a work in progress. Olympic athletes were not born overnight, great paintings began as simple sketches. Bottom line, don’t be afraid to open the front camera and snap a pic. I hope one day you are able to look in the mirror and compliment yourself without shame. Drake said it best; “know yourself(ie), know your worth.”
