We’ve all been there. You get out of the shower, wet and vulnerable, and you look in the mirror. The theoretical nips and tucks begin as you scrutinize every flaw that you are paranoid about. Whether it’s a flabby tummy, an arm jiggle, a giant pimple, or a nonexistent thigh gap, every single person wants to change something about themselves. On one hand, these thought patterns can lead to a more motivated, healthy lifestyle. For others, it’s catastrophic.

Moments like these are the breeding grounds for self-loathing to fester. When someone is constantly fixing themselves in the mirror, it hardly leaves room to stare at that beautiful reflection and garner any appreciation. This low level of self-confidence displaces itself in so many aspects of life that you may feel it has nothing to do with. When you don’t hold yourself at the highest regard, you probably are constantly surrounded with thoughts like these:

“I won’t ever be qualified enough to get that job.”

“I will never shine as brightly as they do.”

“Why don’t I look as good as everybody else does?”

“Why did their selfie get so many more likes than mine did?”

These are obvious statements of inferiority that all of us have probably felt before. In our individualistic society, not only is everybody constantly worried about bettering themselves, it turns into a game of who is better at what, and who looks better than who; the comparisons are real and growing.

Here’s my advice. This persona, this body, this host for your brain and nervous system is really all you’ve got. Unless you decide to go the plastic surgery route, there is no real way to entirely alter who you are, so why hide from it? Why not embrace the gifts that you do have instead of mourning the loss of the ones you don’t? There is no sense in complaining about your flaws when—in the grand scheme of things—they do not equate to a stellar personality. Vanity is an illusion. If we didn’t have mirrors or cameras, we wouldn’t even know what we looked like. It’s a cliché, but looks really don’t matter. Words matter. Love matters. Kindness matters.

It's so easy to get wrapped up in the superficial world of beauty, but you must realize that it’s an industry. Industries, despite whatever messages they send, don’t care about their customers if they aren’t receiving money. These companies will drive into your head the importance of beauty, but that’s only because they just came out with a new Kylie Jenner lip kit spinoff and want your $29.99. It ends there.

But real life goes on swifter than we can even fathom. Time is fleeting and there is opportunity within each passing second; it’s a disgrace to think of how much time one wastes criticizing themselves. Once your body dwindles into its final state, and you are old, wrinkly, and worn out, are you going to criticize yourself then, or realize your body has absolutely nothing to do with your mind? I fear that too many people will never realize this: To have a lack of self-love (and I mean TOTAL self-infatuation) will inhibit you from ever embarking on the unapologetic and enriched journey called life.