Below is a poem for my father -- telling him how I feel in so little words. I hope a lot of people out there living with a biological father who never gained the reward of being considered a dad in their lives can relate to this. My father probably won't read this, and if he does he'll most likely hate me. But with almost nothing to lose here I am, pouring my heart out to a million strangers all for a person who may never even see it.

Dad,

All my life I have blamed you for my sins, echoing through the hallows of my faults.

Why did you leave me before I even knew what it was like to feel lost?

Dad,

I have never loved you because I don't know how.

I have never missed you because I don't know what I'd be missing.

Dad,

My bones were never strong enough to hold you up.

My bones never had a chance to be strong.

I'm sorry Dad.

I was sorry from the morning I woke up to my mom

drowning within her own hands.

I'm sorry that I address you as my dad when you're barely even a

father.

I'm sorry that I keep saying I'm sorry when

I'm not.

Dad,

I'm guilty for pretending--

For giving you false hope.

I tell you I love you to shut you up,

I tell you I miss you to make you feel at peace.

I never knew you'd actually believe me.

Stop telling me that you're homeless when you aren't.

Stop telling me you're depressed like

I'm the reason.

Don't you dare tell me you're going to end your life--

Manipulating me to be your savior.

Honest?

I hate you for doing this to me.

All you have is my pity

And it's running out.

Stop holding on to this rope because it's breaking!

Please don't pull me down with you.

Dad,

I'm done trying to save you.

I'm tired.

Let me go.

It's time to save yourself.