I’ve always been a relationship person. If you ask, I'll never admit to being a serial monogamist. Rather, I'll just say I simply enjoy being in a committed relationship. Maybe it’s the fact that I am in love with the idea of being in love. In my defense, I'm a typical girl. I have this romanticized idea of what love should truly be and despite the fact that I have been hurt many times before, this idea of love doesn’t change.
I’ve been in multiple serious relationships since I was in high school, my longest lasting three years and my shortest lasting eight months. Without trying, I find myself in situations where I end one relationship and I find myself in a new one only months later. Everyone has always told me to slow it down, stay single for awhile and learn more about myself; but the more I thought about it, the more I realized it’s not that I am unhappy by myself. Hell, I thoroughly enjoy spending a day alone on the couch, cuddled up with a good book. I’ll treat myself to solo lunch and dinner dates. I buy myself flowers and go shopping alone. I'm my own perfect boyfriend. Yet when I picture my life, I picture spending it with my best friend.
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It’s not that a break up doesn’t hurt. I’ve spent nights crying myself to sleep or binge eating ice cream while watching "The Bachelorette," but I know deep down, there’s someone better out there. So I pick myself up and I get back out there. Maybe it’s not the most conventional way to get over getting your heart broken but it works for me. I’ve fallen for every person I have ever dated, some more than others, but when it ends, I have to do what’s best for me and that’s to move on.
Yes, I enjoy the company of others. Yes, I enjoy being in love. Yes, I enjoy having that one person I can turn to when things are going well in my life. I picture my life traveling with the one that I love. I picture my life with my partner by my side through thick and thin. I picture my life with a best friend.
So no, it’s not that I’m afraid of being lonely. I’m not afraid of spending time by myself. I embrace this time as everyone should. However, I enjoy sharing those experiences with someone else. And if you find yourself in this situation, never let anyone tell you that you’re doing it wrong. And if you’re quite the opposite, choosing to stay single for long periods of time, you’re not doing it wrong either. We all heal differently. We all have different views on relationships. At the end of the day, what matters most is your happiness. Be happy by yourself and be happy with the decisions you choose to make, regardless of what others say.
