I love food. Who doesn't? However, there's a slight difference between myself and all the rest of the food-loving peasants that roam the restaurants of the world. I like to think of myself as a foodie. In fact, I know that I'm a foodie. I doubt anyone else would bestow that title upon me, but I can say with my whole heart (or stomach, rather) that I am absolutely, 100 percent, a self-proclaimed foodie.

A popular definition given by the ever-credible, always accurate Urban Dictionary states that a "foodie" is "a person that has no actual interests and hobbies." While I only agree with this halfway (my other hobbies include Netflix-binging and hanging out with my cat, but I'm not so sure if those are "real" interests), I will admit that being a foodie is not nearly as simple as this definition makes it sound. So, from me to you, here are a few confessions from a self-proclaimed, millennial generation foodie:

1. The phone eats first.

In true foodie fashion, I can appreciate more than just the taste of the food. I take time to fully embrace the entire experience – the atmosphere, the smell, and especially the visual presentation. And in true millennial fashion, I also love showing off my life on social media, and what better way to do so than by 'gramming a picture of my meal that is way trendier than I will ever be? Plus, the cute captions are endless with food pics. Vanilla chocolate twist soft-serve on a waffle cone with rainbow sprinkles? Try, "I'd stop the world and melt with you." A delicious mocha cappuccino in a cute cup? "Mugshot." Even Drake lyrics can be applied to that glorious slice of apple pie staring back at you on your plate – "You ain't gotta die to get to heaven."

2. It's good -- if ya like food.

I guess this is where you can really tell that I'm only a *self-proclaimed* foodie and not an actual, paid professional. I am nowhere near picky enough to accurately "judge" or "rate" the food I'm eating. I will try everything once, and there are very few foods that I won't try again a second time, meaning that I like nearly everything I eat... unless it's smothered in cranberry sauce – then I won't go near the stuff. If I eat something that I like, that’s probably going to be the extent of my description of the meal. From the words of one proclaimed foodie (Tim McGraw, I’m talking to you – but don’t cite me on this one), “I like it, I love it, I want some more of it!”

3. Slow and steady doesn’t win the race… at least for this foodie.

In addition to enjoying virtually everything I eat, I don't really understand savoring my food, thus reinforcing my “self-proclaimed” title. I am probably the epitome and living definition of "scarf it down" -- fast and messy, just how I like it (kidding, Mom). I am usually the first one at the table to finish what is on my plate, and usually finish all of it, for that matter. But hey, practice makes perfect! Guess this must mean that I just need to keep eating and really try to fully revel in the beauty that is my food in order to reach that professional foodie status one day.

4. I don’t just like to eat my food; I like to wear it, too!

In the process of eating, I somehow manage to get half of my food on my shirt, my pants, in my hair, on my neighbor, and all over the table – pretty much anywhere aside from my mouth or my napkin. I guess this denounces any kind of credibility I have as a real foodie, considering the fact that I’m basically not even technically eating all of my food. It doesn’t matter if I’m at the dinner table in my childhood home, out at a five-star restaurant, or sitting on the living room floor in my apartment – no matter where I’m eating, I’m wearing my eating (LOL).

5. I don’t get paid to eat.

In fact, I pay for all of my meals (and shout out to anyone that’s ever bought me food – I do not appreciate you all enough). I believe that food is a great investment. Considering I like most of what I eat, (see point #2 above) food is rarely ever a waste of my money. This is the part of the article where I rant and go on and on about how I wish I was an actual “foodie” who got paid to eat as their job! That sure would beat getting paid to sit in an office and answer phones, hello #dreamjob.

6. Food literally brings me joy.

OK, so I’m dead serious when I say this: food makes me so happy. Like this happy. My life almost always revolves around food. Wanna hang out? Sure, if we can get food. I have an exam tomorrow? Better get some study snacks. Family is coming to town? Gotta figure out where we’re going to go out to dinner. Every activity is automatically made better when food is involved. Without food I’d have a pretty pathetic social life. Like people who are foodies for a living, I derive a deep sense of pleasure (OK, maybe I’m overdoing it just a little bit) from eating and exploring new edible options.

7. I have no idea what a “gourmand” is, but I’m pretty sure I am one.

Alright, I’m not going to lie; I did look up what “gourmand” meant because I have heard that term a couple times throughout my self-proclaimed foodie career. It is defined as a “person who enjoys eating and often eats too much.” And no. Unfortunately, my picture was not next to the definition I found on the Internet, although I wouldn’t be upset if it was. After all, I do consider myself quite the connoisseur of foods, so I find this term to be only slightly offensive, but completely fitting.

8. Prior to writing this article I kept my foodie persona pretty low-key.

I guess you could say this article could be my sort of foodie-reveal ploy. Life as a foodie is hard. You’re constantly thinking about food and pondering what’s next on the menu for life. I liked to keep my foodie status on the down-low, but now I think I’m ready to confront the world head-on as a full-fledged foodie. I’m no longer afraid of being judged and am excited to embrace myself in all my foodie honesty.