Hello, my name is Cassidy, and I am an addict.

I didn't realize until very recently that I was addicted to my phone, of all things. I dropped my phone about two and a half weeks ago into a sink of running water; I put it in rice and everything, but that phone is no more. It is gone forever, unfortunately. I am finally getting a new phone after this seemingly long period of constantly lugging around my laptop so that I can communicate rather than having everyone and everything at my fingertips in a small, lightweight handheld device. However, I learned more than a few things during this time period.

First things first, I realized I was never present to people. If I felt awkward, I would start going through my Facebook timeline just so that person who was talking to me would go away. Super relatable, I know, which isn't necessarily a problem until one finds themselves doing it over and over and over again until it becomes a habit. A terrible habit. Not having my phone made me more conscious of others who do the same thing. By distracting themselves with their phones, they never really listened to or cared about what I had to say.

As I am studying abroad currently, I also learned very quickly to “live in the moment.” Unfortunately that meant no pretty pictures or cute selfies. It was just me and the great big world. Which is beautiful, by the way. I have not experienced the world in such a way as this since I was a child. With everyone you love and care about on one small handheld computer, the world can seem so small. Small is comfortable. Small feels “normal,” and small does not feel naked. When stripped of that device that we clutch so dearly to, we are thrust into the whole wide world headfirst. We quickly realize just how “small” we are, rather than thinking we are the center of the universe, as some social media platforms may cause us to think. Yes, I'm looking at you, Twitter and Snapchat.

Finally, I learned that I used my phone as a crutch to procrastinate in addition to when I felt like I was in an awkward position or conversation. I used it as my way of removing myself from my current situation. While I did learn that I could get so much more work done without a phone constantly buzzing or begging for me to check Snapchat and Facebook, I also learned that the best way to avoid awkward situations isn't to sit there and let it happen, but rather to physically remove yourself. Something I think we, the millennial generation, have lost, is the ability to exhibit normal behavior in social situations. We don't leave situations because we don't want to hurt people's feelings. We stay, and in order to turn a blind eye, we stick our noses in our phones.

I'm not in any way condemning cellphone usage. Believe me, I have my phone back, and I often jokingly call myself the “snap queen.” But I do think it is important to become self-aware and live outside the little box in our hands, taking the time to go off the grid and explore this great big world we have the gift to be a part of.