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Confessions of A Lifeguard

Do you want to know how a lifeguard really feels?

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Confessions of A Lifeguard
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Most of us have wrapped up summer and returned to school or the monotone 9-to-5 job. I’ve been back at school for a couple week, but throughout the entire summer, I worked as a lifeguard. Hopefully, that will be my last summer as a lifeguard. It was a okay job on average, but there were still moments that made me want to head for the hills and never set foot near a pool again. Here are a couple of reasons why….

1) Lifeguarding is one of the most boring and stressful job ever.

Sitting in a chair and staring attentively at water for hours a day is not anyone’s idea of fun, worthwhile work. Sometimes, you get stuck guarding a pool with only one person in it. Or, it’s only a bunch of people who are proficient swimmers and aren’t an extreme concern. Or maybe you’re just tired and don’t feel like it. You can’t stop guarding the water, no matter how bored you are.

Then there are moments when things go from 0 to 60 in 3.5. You’re in charge of people’s lives. If you screw this up or stop staring at that water, Someone. Could. Die. Most situations usually aren’t that dire, but there is always a chance that things go sour quickly. The worst part of my job was when I actually had to do my job. Hearing a child scream for help or seeing a child struggling to stay afloat set off such an adrenaline rush/panic in me that every time I had to save a child, I came away shaking or in tears.

2) I wouldn’t trust some of my coworkers with my life.

If any of my coworkers are reading this, I apologize. Most of you guys are great…. But I watch people guard and how little some of them pay attention. I see stuff that goes unnoticed by other guards. I won’t pretend that I’m the best and, trust me, there are times that I wouldn’t trust myself with my own life, but I know I am a better lifeguard than some.

Lifeguards are usually in high school or early college. Most of us just come for the steady pay, easy flexible hours, and a nice tan. Most don’t work because of a love of lifeguarding. It’s really easy to see once you get in the break room, that there are a lot lifeguards who don’t want to be there, who hate their jobs, and who don’t give the necessary dedication/commitment to being a good guard. I’ve heard rumors of people coming into work hungover and lifeguards with alcohol in their water bottles during work hours. Is it true? Unknown, but I’d rather not take my chances.

3)You meet some of the worst of the worst at pools.

Note: I worked at a public pool, so maybe if you go to private high-end country clubs, you wouldn’t have these problems.

I have met some of the world’s worst parents. I have guarded demonic two-year olds. I have guarded drug addicts. I have guarded rowdy teens who don’t know how to respect anyone or how to listen to instructions. I’ve been hit on by 15-year-old boys. I’ve been hit on by a 40-year-old married man (who came back later and asked me if I was over 18, so he didn’t feel like a pedophile).

And in general, I’ve just met morons. If I tell you to stop doing something or follow the rules, that means you must follow the rules. Not continue to do what you’re doing. Scraped knees and head wounds usually only happen if you’re doing something stupid and unsafe. And by doing that unsafe, stupid action, you are putting other patrons and the guards at risk. No one wants to deal with it. I frankly don’t have enough patience to deal with your stupidity. And no matter how hard I try to get rid of those people, they’ll always keep coming back.

4) Pools are so unsanitary and, I feel, the facilities never get cleaned as well as they should.

Need I say more?

***

I could probably go on and on about how much I disliked my job, but I don’t think I have any right to complain. I average about 36 hours a week out of the 40 hours possible, so, for some reason, I kept coming back. You don’t always have bad patrons or terrible coworkers. Most of the time, the company is great and you can get paid to screw around and have fun.

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