I know that most people probably read the title of this article and are thinking, too polite? How can someone be too polite?" Well, I'm not talking about the kind of polite where you say "hello," say "thank you," and hold the door for people. That's fine. What I'm talking about is the kind of politeness that goes too far. Being polite when you're uncomfortable, being polite when someone is blatantly rude or mean, and apologizing for things that don't warrant an apology.

I am sick of being the girl who always says "sorry." I say "sorry" when I pass someone a little too close on the street. I say "sorry" when someone else bumps into me. I say "sorry" when I ask for help finding something in a store. It's ridiculous how many times I say "sorry" in a day. Though it's polite to acknowledge your appreciation for help when you're inconveniencing someone, many times it's the person's job to help you. But as women, I think we are often taught in our socialization that we are always inconveniencing someone. We say "sorry" when we laugh too loud and we apologize even when we don't mean it and we feel cornered.

I am also sick and tired of ignoring situations that make me feel uncomfortable and unsafe. A couple months ago, I was stopped at a red light. The man in the truck next to me was trying to get my attention and was yelling in my direction. I quickly rolled down my window, thinking he must be trying to warn me about a problem with my car. As soon as the window was down and I heard the obscene things he was yelling at me, I rolled up my window and tears welled up in my eyes as I waited what seemed like an eternity for the red light to change. But, of course, I ignored it.

I am also tired of being the girl who always says "yes." I love being helpful, which is sometimes a curse. I take on a lot of responsibilities and on the rare occasion I say "no" to helping someone, I apologize for being busy. I apologize for having work to do and I apologize for wanting to spend time alone. If I'm late to your party, you'll hear "I'm so sorry" a thousand times, even if you're late every time we hang out. I excuse the rude behavior of others and chalk it up to "that's just how they are," even when it hurts me.

So why don't I just stop apologizing? I don't think it's that simple, and I don't think I'm alone here. I don't mean to make this a gender issue, but I think as girls, we're often raised to be the kind ones. We're raised to serve others and not to inconvenience others. We're raised to hug the family members we barely know at family reunions. We're raised to take compliments, even when those "compliments" are underhanded or make us uncomfortable. We're raised to "make nice" with friends who don't treat us well and we're raised to settle our arguments with "sorry."

I know I'm not the only one who feels this way and I'm going to start being conscious of this habit of saying "sorry." What I want is for everyone, especially young women, to start owning their feelings and to stop diminishing their thoughts and actions with an apology unless an apology is necessary. You don't need to be this version of "polite" all the time. It's not impolite to be confident and secure. We can do this together.