Do you frequently make and then subsequently cancel plans? Do you have a list of semi-decent excuses that you recycle depending on the person to get out of something? Do you get a thrill out of just not showing up?
Congratulations, you are a card-carrying bonafide flake.
Whether it is a mix of introversion and apathy, or that I’m always busy and/or tired, I’ve resolved myself to the notion that yes, I am in fact a flake. I make and then cancel plans.
It is important, like really important, to make time for yourself and to do the things you want to do. There’s no doubt about that; however, if no one can rely on you to do anything, then are you really worth the effort to have around?
It is not enough to say you will do something — a lesson I’ve learned. You have to do that "something." Words are just that, words, unless they are followed by actions.
You have your reasons, and that is fine, but one thing you have to keep in mind about dipping out is that the world doesn't work that way. You can't just opt out of work for days on end; you can't just tell your significant other you don't want to do something over and over. Eventually, being a flake will come to bite you.
Is there a way you can change your flakiness?
While you can't change overnight, there are surely ways to help prevent yourself from being the definition of unreliableness.
Every major change needs to start small. Whether it is promising to think about going out Friday night or telling yourself you won't use a fake excuse, the fate of being a flake is not inevitable.
You can't possibly expect yourself to go so far in the opposite direction. Starting small means trying smaller promises. Remember that it shouldn't be a burden to help others — that is what friends do.
So, if you don't want to do something, then just don't. Seriously, if you really don't want to do something just be honest. If you want to stay home and sleep, just say it. If you need alone time because you're an introvert like me, just say it.
If all else fails, respect yourself and respect others enough to know when you will and will not do something. Being a flake is not the same as being lazy. A flake promises to do something, and then doesn't. A lazy person just doesn't do something.
Perhaps you'll always have lazy tendencies. You'll hesitate before taking on a new project, a new book or a new volunteer opportunity. What is important about being a flake, or any flaw, is the ability to learn from it.
You can use your apathy and lack of strong motivation as fuel and empathy when working with others just like you. We all don't want to do things. Do you actually think there are people out there that want to wake up at 4 a.m., take public transit for a few hours, spend eight hours at a desk and then make the trip home? Don't you think they would prefer to spend the day on a beach or in the bed?
The world doesn't have room for flakes. Simply put, those people do not survive in the competitive world we live in, where your responsibilities can find you anytime, anywhere on a six-inch screen.
Flakiness is not a characteristic; it's a bad habit, and just like biting your nails and smoking cigarettes, the sooner you stop and realize you have so much more to offer than being the butt of your colleagues' jokes, you'll truly be a rockstar.
