I started this semester out wide eyed and hoping for the best. I walked into my classes and smiled as my professor handed me the syllabus hoping that'd they think I was respectable and automatically take a likening to me. After all, they didn't really know me yet anyway. For the first two weeks everything was breezy, like a review. I had no doubt in my mind that'd I pass. Then came test one and everything seemed like new information hitting me at once. I took this loss and thought "hey I'll get it next time." Well it turns out I lied. Sometimes I stop and ponder how it is that I made it this far in the semester without thinking about dropping out then I remember that I ponder it at least three times a week. For months I kept up this façade that everything would be ok. Now we are in November and I'm starting sweat. My grade is not where I want it and "i'll fix it soon" attitude is starting ware off. As I see the approaching study days and finals less then a week away, the only thing I can do is to pause and pray. I am a college student in the month of November. The month where professors say it is too late for office hours. I'm at the point where all nighters no longer faze me and coffee can no longer keep me awake. I've basically given up on socialization in hopes of raising my GPA, but honestly I've given up on that too.I procrastinate by planning out what I'll tell my parents when they ask me to explain my grades. Will they buy the "some semesters are harder than others," line? I hope so. But that's a problem for future me, right now I am stuck with an blank word document as I pretend to regurgitate information I never understood. Why? Because I'm a college student in the month of November.