Ew, feelings. Gross, right?
I have always been one to keep my feelings to myself. I am never the one in the group to speak first and most of the time, I wait until I am spoken to before engaging in conversation and I always alwaysalways keep my opinion to myself. Being an emotional introvert has always been the norm for me. I don't like to talk about, think about, or even feel feelings because that's what I have always known. Being an emotional introvert has definitely had it's positives and negatives. I've learned a lot about myself and other people through bottling up my emotions, and here are just a few of the things that I have learned from keeping my feelings to myself..
1. You cannot trust everyone.
Say hello to the #1 reason as to why I keep my personal life extremely personal. Not everyone cares about how you feel and you must learn to know the difference between those who truly care and those who are simply curious. Far too many times I have discovered that I have placed my trust in the wrong people and far too many times have I found myself crying on the floor int he middle of the night because of it. I know now that not all people are trustworthy and not all people care about how I feel and knowing this has made all the difference in becoming a better me.
2. Not only are you awesome at keeping your own secrets, but you are BOMB at keeping everyone else's secrets too.
Okay, let's face it, everyone loves a good secret. It's nice feeling like someone trusts you enough to confide in you about the things that bother them and it's nice to have someone to talk to. I love being the friend that everyone comes to talk about their lives and their problems mainly because I am a people pleaser. I want everyone around me to be happy. I know what it's like to not have anyone to talk to and I never want my friends, or anyone for that matter, to feel like they have no one but themselves. However, even though I love being someone people confide in, it can also lead to my destruction. With the burden of my own problems heavy on my heart, the additional weight of everyone else's problems made it even worse. While I wanted to be there for everyone, I had to learn when to be there for myself and when to selfish with my heart. Your heart is a fragile thing and sometimes, there isn't enough to go around. Be selfish. Be there for others, but never forget to be there for yourself.
3. It is physically unhealthy.
Yes, it really is. Not only does keeping how you feel -- to yourself -- take an emotional toll on your body, but also physically. Bottling up how you feel leads to an increased amount of stress on your body which can then lead to anxiety, depression, a weakened immune system, and even eating disorders. Although you may think that bottling up your emotions will make you feel better, it will actually make you feel worse.
4. Some things really are better left unsaid.
I know, I know. Here I am telling you to speak your mind and not bottle up your emotions and now here I am going to tell you that it is okay to keep some things to yourself. I am a walking, talking contradiction here but really, some things truly are better left unsaid. Forget the small petty things and rather focus on the big emotions. Speak what is on your mind but establish which thoughts are important and which thoughts are going to cause unnecessary conflict. Speaking from experience, there are a lot of things that I wish I would have just brushed off rather than confronting them and if i would have known that sooner, I would have saved myself a lot of tears and a lot of drama.
5. You can, and you will, eventually blow up.
You are going to explode if you don't get something out of that mind of yours. I can't count the times that I curled myself into a ball on my floor and screamed and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. Even if it's just a few little things here and there, you have to talk about them in order to fix them and move on. You will explode and it will be a messy emotional breakdown that I can guarantee you do not want to deal with. Talk about it! It's a lot less scary than it seems.
6. Not all feelings are bad feelings.
Repeat after me: NOT ALL FEELINGS ARE BAD FEELINGS. Believe it or not, they aren't all that scary and they aren't all that bad. Emotions are a little intimidating, yeah, because they make you feel small and vulnerable, but they are also wonderful, beautiful things. You like that boy? FANTASTIC, LET'S TELL HIM ABOUT IT! You feel happy when it's raining outside? EVEN MORE FANTASTIC! Feelings can be scary I know, liking someone can be scary and being sad and feeling alone is absolutely terrifying, but not all feelings are bad feelings. It's okay to feel, do not ever make yourself think that you are not allowed to feel a certain way. Your feelings are important to you because they are yours. Sure, maybe it's not okay to feel like you want to murder people in your sleep, but feeling happy, sad, angry, or depressed are all okay feelings to have. You are not alone and emotions really aren't so bad after all. Accept and acknowledge them and you will feel a huge weight lifted off of your shoulders.
7. Let it go.
Yes, just like the Frozen song. Let it go and don't hold it back anymore. Talk about your feelings, accept your feelings and let go of all the bad and negative energy around you. Things are going to be okay, you are going to be okay, and most of all, FEELING FEELINGS AND TALKING ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS IS OK.
