When I was in elementary school I never really cared about my image. I just wanted to play and try to make friends. Until one day that all changed. This girl whom I thought was my friend looked at me dead in the eyes and said " you're ugly". It amazes me 'till this day how much words can penetrate you like bullets.

Me, Myself, And I

That day on the playground was over ten years ago. I'm still, figuratively speaking, Under construction. When I stare into the mirror it's like a battle. I start looking at every crack and crevice on my face. I'm shredding myself apart everyday with no visible bruising. I feel like I don't fit into the American standard of what's considered beautiful. When I try to pick myself up I turn to see the front of a magazine and come back to reality.

The Media

The media puts all of us in a vicious cycle. One day they preach to the people to love themselves the way they are then the next day they fat shame. It's a toxic relationship that I keep coming back too. Have you ever thought about the psychology part of social media? What if it's all intended to lower our self esteem so we buy that mascara that they promise will make our lashes longer, or that foundation to make our skin look flawless.

Self esteem and the Media

A group of researchers did an experiment on Facebook users to see what influence the site has on their well-being. They concluded that the more time spent on social media the more depressed they got. Facebook as well as other social media sites are filled with advertisements. They portray this perfect image and we crave it. The sad thing is when they put an emotional element to their advertisement. For example this car commercial. It includes a dog and it will make you cry. But they really want you to buy the car, So they mimic reality and we fall for it.

Facing My Demons

One day I will look in the mirror and like what I see. One day I will cut the strings loose to the media and stop being their puppet. Until that day comes I will try to stop looking at the floor when I'm walking and look up at my reality. It's all about taking baby steps.So, Will you face your demons ?