In the state of Wisconsin, you need to be 16 to earn a work permit. Once the 15th of May rolled around my sophomore year of high school, my parents forced me to get a job. I drove all around the glorious small town of Mequon, WI, applied to seven places and heard nothing back. I drove past Bed Bath & Beyond one day and noticed an obnoxiously large “Now Hiring” banner. I already applied to seven places, so what’s one more?
I walked in, filled out an application, and was interviewed on the spot (as the BB&B does for every applicant). Long story short, I got the job and ended up working there for almost two years! What?? Anyway, here are my confessions as a former Bed Bath & Beyond employee.
1. Calling it "Bed Bath" is way cooler.
“Sydney, wanna come do something super cool and chill with us tonight?” -my friends
“Nah, guys. Bed Bath needs me.”
See? Way cooler.
2. There are regulars. And yes, we do sort of run away from them.
I guess the word “coincidentally avoid” would be better. Oh, that lady that finds 30 questions to ask on every possible product is in the Kitchen Basics room? Guess there’s work that needs to be done on the complete opposite end of the store!
Every month, my manager would say the full moon brings “the loons” out. I’ve never been a follower of the phases of the moon, but I could easily tell when a full moon was at its peak. We once had a customer barge back into the store (after checking out and carting her purchases to her car) demanding that she lost her glove in the store, and since we worked at the store, it was our responsibility to help her find it. Long story short, my manager ended up going to her car with her, searching her car, and after 23 seconds, found the glove sitting in the passenger seat under her purse. Yep.
3. There isn’t a Universal Remote in the “Beyond” section. I’ve looked for it.
Sorry to let all Adam Sandler fans down, but the Universal Remote isn’t a thing. My apologies. The “Beyond” part of Bed Bath & Beyond refers to the Beyond Store, which is an online store that can be accessed directly in store with the assistance of a sales associate. Items that are out of stock or are featured in a magazine but aren’t sold in store can be ordered and shipped directly to your home in just a few minutes. “Beyond” amazing, right?
4. Those towels that stack up to the ceiling? They’re fake.
Ah yes, the art of the foam, guys. It's really just one towel shifted and shoved into the crevices of the foam guy to appear as if it's five towels folded on top of each other. Don't feel cheated, it's just all about presentation, people. Do you really think employees have enough time to fold tens of towels that no one will end up buying, because, hi, no one can reach them??
5. If you’re getting married, Bed Bath has your back.
Bed Bath & Beyond does bridal registries! Once I became a fully-trained bridal consultant, I bragged to everyone about it. I was 17 and I was a bridal consultant. What were you when you were 17? A Taylor Swift "Fearless" fan? Rad. Anyway, the typical response I received to my bragging was, “Bed Bath & Beyond does bridal registries? I didn’t know that.”
When Bed Bath does bridal registries, they do them well. Unlike Target and other places couples can create a registry, Bed Bath & Beyond pairs each couple with a bridal consultant and the bridal consultant helps them through every step of the way. However, we are trained to detect when couples really want to be left alone, so we won’t be those creeps breathing down your neck every time you raise the scan gun.
Bed Bath also carries some quality, high-end products. Although Bed Bath may not come off as a chic, designer store, there are place settings, dinnerware, and fine china by Kate Spade and other surprising designers and high-quality brands on their website that couples can place on their registry in just the click of a button.
I got to say, Bed Bath taught me some great things and some not so great things about the world of retail and life. Looking back, I wouldn't trade a single moment of towel-folding for the world. Thanks for everything Bed Bath, you really went above and "beyond" my expectations.