Confessions of a Diet Coke-a-holic | The Odyssey Online
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Confessions of a Diet Coke-a-holic

And Why I'm Never Giving it Up

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Confessions of a Diet Coke-a-holic

Hello, my name is Ellie, and I’m a Diet Coke addict. If I could, I would drink Diet Coke from the moment I woke up until the moment I go to bed. I think about it when I get up in the morning, and I patiently wait until it’s socially acceptable to drink one. By 11 in the morning I usually crack, and head toward the closest Diet Coke I can find. That first pop, and fizzle — it sounds like heaven’s angels descend down upon us while singing in harmonious glory, greatly contributing to the painfully exciting anticipation building to the first drink. I describe Diet Coke as the “Nectar of the Gods”, because that’s the only way I know how to describe that taste. That first drink can brighten my mood any time of any day. But, let’s be honest, any drink of any Diet Coke does that to me.

One of the things about my Diet Coke addiction that most people are surprised about is that there are better ways to drink it, and I’m picky about what types I like. Like coffee, tea, beer, wine, and so on, there are certain ways Diet Coke is produced that taste better than others.

Third place goes to bottled, because the carbonation never stores that well, and it makes the Diet Coke taste syrupy.

Second place goes to canned! Canned is a wonderful way to store Diet Coke because it always tastes so fresh when you drink it, no matter how long you may have had it in your fridge.

But, drumroll, first place goes to Diet Coke on tap; specifically, McDonald's Diet Coke on tap. I swear their Diet Coke comes straight from heaven. If I’m ever out and about, all I want is to stop and buy a Diet Coke from McDonald's, no matter what time of day it is. But if any place in general has Diet Coke on tap, I’ll always get it. My favorite type of restaurant to drink Diet Coke at is Mexican, because there’s nothing better than sitting down at your table and getting a Diet Coke on tap and hot chips and salsa. Overall, Diet Coke goes with everything.

I am known for my Diet Coke addiction by all my friends, and some of my family too. Diet Coke isn’t just an addiction; it’s a lifestyle. I thank my lucky stars for the person who invented this beautiful beverage, and hold my tongue when people try to tell me, “That’s a lot of aspartame.” But every addict encounters challenges. The hardest situation for a Diet Coke addict is when a certain question is asked. Most places have Diet Coke, but when they don’t,I don’t know if I can even bear to write the brand name that I would drink instead. Let me try again.

Sometimes when I go out to eat, the restaurant doesn’t have Diet Coke, and the waiter asks&mash;I think I can say it this time— Is Pepsi okay?

Now, at this time, I am faced with a crossroads, to say what is on my mind, which is this, “DO YOU THINK PEPSI IS OKAY? IS SPITTING IN SOMEONE’S FOOD OKAY? NO! NO IT’S NOT! YOU MOTHERFUCKER WHY CAN’T YOU JUST GIVE ME MY DIET COKE!!! I’M GOING TO TAKE THIS MENU AND RIP IT TO SHREDS WHILE SCREAMING IN DESPERATION.”, or to respond the appropriate way, which is to say through pursed lips in an icy tone, “Water is fine.”

Over time, I make a mental log of the restaurants and places that don’t serve Diet Coke and I avoid them at all costs, so that I don’t have to experience that emotional trauma very often.

I have liked soda since I was a kid, when my parents would let me have it once in a while for a treat. I would always choose Diet Coke if I was allowed to choose. The obsession started young, and as soon as I was old enough to drive myself and get what I wanted, I started drinking diet coke all the time. It was a great drink to accompany me to class in high school, and fill the endless hours I would spend in the drama department. I then went to college and grew up a little, so I don’t drink Diet Coke as often anymore. I understand that water is an important liquid in my diet now, but I still relish every taste just as much as before. I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving Diet Coke, but I have learned to control my addiction. With age comes responsibility.

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