These are the things

I no longer wish to understand

The color of loneliness

Isn't grey or blue like you might think.

It is pink

Like I want to be red hot and frustrated

But I feel too beaten down

And can't pick myself back up

And no one notices

Even in the most crowded room

That when I walk into a room full of men

I would be defenseless

If they tried anything

Like so many other men do

To women around the world

Every minute of the day

That the same screens that bring us together

Drive us apart

In that everything we do and say

Is a double-edged sword

And you no longer need a witness

Because the screens never forget.

That the average man

Respects that a woman is "taken" by another man

More than that woman's utterance

"No"

As if my opinions don't matter

That we tend to see melanin

Before we see humanity

And need

So before we allow ourselves to have compassion

We've decided it doesn't matter

As if their origin

Is any different than ours

We decide whose wars

Are legitimate

And who's aren't

Despite all the perspectives

That say they're fighting for survival

Just because we decide to close our eyes

And the more I look at it all

The more I realize

I don't understand

I was just conditioned to accept this

As if it's normal to dehumanize.

As a woman I was

Raised by society

To apologize

For every damn thing

And by god it's time

We stop apologizing for existing.