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Shoutout To My Computer FBI Agent For Sticking With Me, Even Through These 17 Things

FBI Agent, I'm sure you're reading this. I hope you like it.

Emily Henrichs

Apr 12, 2019

Illinois State University

145

Shoutout To My Computer FBI Agent For Sticking With Me, Even Through These 17 Things

Emily Henrichs

When I sing off-key to literally every song on my playlist

Sorry, Agent! Thanks for sticking around through those awful high notes!

When I cried my eyes out watching "P.S. I Love You"

I know you cry, too.

All of the memes we have laughed at together

Bro, you already KNOW.

The time or should I say times, when I watched Vine compilations for an ungodly amount of time

Thanks for that.

When I cried over my research paper

YA FEEL?!

When I submitted my research paper literally 47 seconds before it was due

We did it! Well, I did it!

When I balled out on cooking, hair, and makeover games

Embarassing, but I was so bored.

When I yelled at all of the hockey games

You probably think I'm crazy.

When I picked my nose, I know gross. At least my FBI Agent is still with me.

When ya gotta do it, ya gotta do it.

When I read old news articles until 4 a.m.

It's all so interesting!!!

Every time I talked about my boring day

Sorry, bro.

When I panic-ordered Insomnia Cookies at 1 a.m. because I was lonely

They're just so good!!!!!

When I decided it would be a great idea to make some sketchy but viral stuff

We've all been there.

When I made you sit through an eight-hour "How I Met Your Mother" binge

We laughed AND cried.

When we chatted about that cute boy at the bar

My FBI Agent knows too much.

The time we went to the coffee shop all day and did homework

Thanks for watching me cry over math.

Sitting through this

Hey! Thanks, dude!

I don't know my FBI Agent, but I'm sure they're a great person! They put up with me, so they kind of have to be.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Shoutout To My Computer FBI Agent For Sticking With Me, Even Through These 17 Things

FBI Agent, I'm sure you're reading this. I hope you like it.

In This Article:

When I sing off-key to literally every song on my playlist

When I cried my eyes out watching "P.S. I Love You"

All of the memes we have laughed at together

The time or should I say times, when I watched Vine compilations for an ungodly amount of time

When I cried over my research paper

When I submitted my research paper literally 47 seconds before it was due

When I balled out on cooking, hair, and makeover games

When I yelled at all of the hockey games

When I picked my nose, I know gross. At least my FBI Agent is still with me.

When I read old news articles until 4 a.m.

Every time I talked about my boring day

When I panic-ordered Insomnia Cookies at 1 a.m. because I was lonely

When I decided it would be a great idea to make some sketchy but viral stuff

When I made you sit through an eight-hour "How I Met Your Mother" binge

When we chatted about that cute boy at the bar

The time we went to the coffee shop all day and did homework

Sitting through this

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Cs get degrees!

1. Me after every class

2. If you really care about your grades

3. When you get a new homework assignment

4. When people ask what you're going to do after college

5. When you see people who don't study and get good grades

6. We're all broke here

7. FREE FOOD IS FREE FOOD!

8. When it seems like everyone in class is smart - EXCEPT THE PEOPLE IN YOUR GROUP PROJECT!!

Other than knowledge and all those important things

How to take stairs.

Caffeine is your friend.

How to study.

Finding free food.

How to take a nap anywhere.

How to appreciate sleep.

How to procrastinate productively.

Surprise: This is not on the syllabus

1. As a freshman, one does get to be called “freshman” by upperclassmen when they walk to parties in a mob of people.

2. Some of the best stories happen after 2 a.m.

3. Upperclassmen live for meal swipes from freshman because they are poor and need free food.

4. People are struggling just as much as you are so you're not alone.

5. You will never take privacy or personal space for granted ever again.

6. You are not the only one who has slept on the community bathroom floor after a night out.

7. Skipping class for Netflix is a valid excuse.

8. It’s totally acceptable to bring a pot of coffee, a sleeping bag and a pillow to the library.

9. Having class with a friend is the best because you can trade off days on who goes to class.

10. When you are a senior, you take the easiest classes to boost your GPA.

11. How to pull an all-nighter.

12. How to handle drunk people.

13. The drunk you does not look out for sober you about 90 percent of the time.

14. How to deal with a hangover.

15. How to interact with people very different from you.

16. The perfect amount to procrastinate on every assignment.

17. How to pass a class without paying for the textbook that was "required."

18. How to calculate your grades to see what you need on every test in order to maintain a passing grade.

19. How to hook-up with someone without getting emotions involved (but we all know that doesn’t happen).

20. How to handle your roommate when you want to strangle them.

21. That you miss your parent’s every day.

22. How to get into a bar when you aren’t 21.

23. How to BS on assignments, out loud and on your resume.

24. That theme parties are the greatest.

25. How to find free events that have free food.

26. That when there are puppies on campus it will be the greatest day of your life.

27. Alarms are necessary and you must set like seven of them in order to wake up in time for class.

28. Greek parties are exactly how they are in movies.

29. Care packages are treated like Christmas presents.

30. The friends you meet in college will become your bridesmaids and groomsmen.

31. That printers only break when you need them the most.

32. Cereal, ramen noodles, Easy Mac and microwavable pancakes can be used for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

33. That classes before 8 a.m. should be illegal.

34. Changing your major is OK.

Don't let the thesaurus-inspired vocabularies in our résumés fool you. We're actually just big kids.

"You should know exactly what career is right for your future by the time you're 18."

"Save all your money."

"Get plenty of sleep and adjust to a regular sleep schedule."

"Make sure to eat healthy, balanced meals. Don't forget those fruits and vegetables."

"Surround yourself with good, moral people."

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