If I'm being honest, my FBI Agent probably thinks I'm weird and I don't have any friends. They probably feel bad for me every time they catch me chillin' in my bed and munching on food at an hour that doesn't seem real.
I don't know if I entertain them with my life or if they genuinely think I'm lame, but I'm here to say thanks. I don't know if I would want to stick around after all of this.
FBI Agent, I'm sure you're reading this. I hope you like it.
When I sing off-key to literally every song on my playlist
Sorry, Agent! Thanks for sticking around through those awful high notes!
When I cried my eyes out watching "P.S. I Love You"
I know you cry, too.
All of the memes we have laughed at together
Bro, you already KNOW.
The time or should I say times, when I watched Vine compilations for an ungodly amount of time
Thanks for that.
When I cried over my research paper
YA FEEL?!
When I submitted my research paper literally 47 seconds before it was due
We did it! Well, I did it!
When I balled out on cooking, hair, and makeover games
Embarassing, but I was so bored.
When I yelled at all of the hockey games
You probably think I'm crazy.
When I picked my nose, I know gross. At least my FBI Agent is still with me.
When ya gotta do it, ya gotta do it.
 When I read old news articles until 4 a.m.Â
It's all so interesting!!!
 Every time I talked about my boring day
Sorry, bro.
 When I panic-ordered Insomnia Cookies at 1 a.m. because I was lonely
They're just so good!!!!!
 When I decided it would be a great idea to make some sketchy but viral stuff
We've all been there.
 When I made you sit through an eight-hour "How I Met Your Mother" binge
We laughed AND cried.
 When we chatted about that cute boy at the bar
My FBI Agent knows too much.
 The time we went to the coffee shop all day and did homework
Thanks for watching me cry over math.
 Sitting through this
Hey! Thanks, dude!
I don't know my FBI Agent, but I'm sure they're a great person! They put up with me, so they kind of have to be.
