Last night I walked through Oakland to meet some of my friends. I wore a skirt I felt good in and a shirt that looked nice. Within five minutes of walking, a car passed by me and the driver screamed "Get it, girl!" at me.
Another group of men walked past me. "Hey girl!" I didn't respond. He turned around, and yet again called, "I said, hey girl!" As if it was rude of me not to respond to him.
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I don't understand why men think cat calling women is okay. I just don't.
Do you not realize that we do not wear clothes to get your appreciation? If I'm going to wear a short skirt, it's because I think I look good in it. I like how my legs look. I like how my butt looks. I'm not searching for your cat calls: I'm complimenting myself by saying "I look really good right now."
Now, there are some men who will stop me on a normal day. I was in Dunkin Donuts one morning getting coffee before work. After the man behind the counter took my order, he stopped me and said, "I hope you don't mind me saying, but you are beautiful, if you don't mind me saying." I told him thank you, and that he was very sweet. I felt good about myself. The rest of the day I felt beautiful.
But the fact that he had to say "if you don't mind me saying so" twice made me sad. While cat calling women is not okay by any means, men should not feel intimidated or scared to tell us that we look beautiful. They should not be afraid to compliment us if they would like to.
Cat calling has come a long way. I can only imagine what it would have been like for our mothers, aunts, and grandmothers while walking down the street or in their own work place. I cannot imagine the chauvinism. So ladies, we need to remember that while cat calls haven't ceased, they have come a long way.
But gentlemen—compliments, not cat calls. A woman is much more likely to respond to you, and respect you, if you tell her she looks nice. Tell her clothes look good, her makeup looks nice. Don't tell her "nice ass" or "get it girl." We'll just think you're an asshole.
And ladies—if a man gives you an actual compliment, it's okay to accept it. You're not going to be giving in to chauvinism if a man gives you a compliment. You can be a feminist and accept compliments.
In fact, I think we would all feel a lot more comfortable talking to each other if we simply complimented each other. It makes a person feel good, and you feel good for saying something nice to them.
Be kind. Compliment. And for the love of god, do not cat call me.
