As a woman, I get a lot of compliments from men. I think that all women do. The wonderful thing is that a lot of them make me grin from ear to ear. The bad thing is that a lot of them make me cringe and want to run the other direction. Here I will provide a short list of some do's and don't's as it pertains to complimenting women. Keep in mind, my friends, that not all of these are universal. Every woman likes different things. However, in my experience, these will apply to most of the women that you meet. Also, bear in mind that the dynamic changes after years in a relationship or years of being acquainted.
The Dos:
1. Listen to her.
This sounds easy, right? Well, apparently some people find it incredibly challenging. There is one easy tip to help you do this: "Listen to understand, not to reply." You don't need to one up her story or offer her advice. It's simple, you should be listening to her to get to know her. Having a man listen to you because they are interested in who you are is a huge compliment.
2. Tell her the truth, but do it nicely.
If you think that she is beautiful, tell her. If you think she has the softest, most luxurious head of hair you have ever seen, let her know. Does she have lettuce stuck in her teeth? Inform her and then say, "Wouldn't want anything to dampen that lovely smile."
3. Compliment her mind.
Being pretty is great, but I love when a man tells me that they think I am smart or that they like one of my ideas. I love when a man expands on my thoughts or opens his mind to the concepts that I am discussing. We are more than just pretty faces and we like to know that you know it too.
4. Notice the things that she is good at.
Does your girl throw a mean curve ball? Can she run like the wind? Does she draw well? Maybe she sings like an angel? Everyone is good at something and your girl will love it if you notice and you take interest in her talents and hobbies. You don't have to become a hardcore Crossfitter with her, but you could take a class and try to connect with the things she loves.
The Don't's:
1. Don't catcall.
Being hollered at by men on the street is disgusting. No woman likes it. Many women "try to chalk it up to a compliment," but not a single one of us feels comfortable when men yell at us while we are trying to do normal things. It doesn't even matter to us that you are saying something that you deem complimentary.
2. Don't be condescending.
Unless we have an established connection and an established way of talking to each other, I don't need a man to explain to me how things work. This is called "mansplaining" and it makes you look like an asshole. If you think we are out of sorts because of our hormones and you attempt to explain that to us, you are being a condescending, mansplaining farthead and we don't want to ever hear your voice again. Don't call us honey, sweetie, pumpkin, muffin, doll, dear, dearie, or anything cutesy unless you know it's okay. You don't have the right to talk down to us. Ever.
3. Don't grab at us.
It doesn't make us feel good to have my ass grabbed in a grocery store. If you can't kiss us without trying to stick your hands down our pants, you probably shouldn't kiss us. Both parties need to be into the grabbing. It doesn't make us feel like we have a nice ass when you smack our butt as we walk by, it makes us feel like an object. You aren't complimenting our bodies by acting like you can do whatever you want with it.
4. Don't offer us advice on how we look.
Telling that we have lettuce in our teeth is one thing, telling us that we have toilet paper stuck to our shoes is also fine. Telling us that you really like our hair but it would be nicer if it were longer is lame. Telling us that we would look better without makeup is not your place. Spoiler alert! Women don't wear makeup for you guys, we wear it for the way it makes us feel in our own skin and you don't get a vote on that even if you think you are helping.
