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The Compliment Complex

An in-depth analysis of the ins and outs of complex social cues.

Thomas Gray

Jun 06, 2016

Mississippi College

WiseBread

Compliments are sometimes the worst. Don’t get me wrong, I love to be complimented as much as the next person, but the hard part comes in the aftermath. Just take a moment to imagine it. You’re walking down the street and you’re trying out a new haircut when suddenly, out of nowhere, a friend of yours ambushes you. You strike off a pleasant conversation for a few minutes, but you both realize you have places to be, so you agree to end your little meeting. “Alright, see you later!” you say, walking away full of confidence in your superior social skills. As you continue to walk, your friends offers one last comment: “Oh, and I love the new haircut!”

That’s when you say it…

“Thanks, you too!” Suddenly your social skills don’t seem so refined. You feel like an absolute dunce and you look back to see their reaction and see them pause as they walk away, and then they continue on their way. “Do I correct myself?” you think -- but no, that would make you seem dumber. Sheesh, you think to yourself, that’s probably one of the most awkward moments of your life.

But then you remember...

(Two years ago at the movies)

Employee: Here you go! Enjoy your movie!

You: Thanks, you too!

(18 months ago at Wendy’s)

Employee: Thank you for choosing Wendy’s, and enjoy your meal!

You: Thanks, you too!

(Last semester on move-in day)

Mom: Have fun at college!

You: Thanks, you too!

(Last week when you got pulled over)

Officer: Try to watch your speed from now on, OK?

You: Thanks, you too!

(Last night in your dorm)

Roommate: Can you turn that music down? I’m trying to study.

You: Thanks, you too!

(Literally 20 minutes ago at Starbucks)

Employee: Here is your special beverage. Please do enjoy, because we made it just for you, and there is absolutely no one here that could be receiving such a unique treat, least of all myself.

You: Thanks, you too!

Has this ever happened to you? Well, you’re not alone. I do this on practically a daily basis, so don’t beat yourself up. We’re all a little awkward sometimes, and once you realize that, the pain of being about as socially graceful as Michael Cera’s Guinea Pig becomes almost bearable.

Stay strong, and stay awkward!

Thanks for reading!

You: Thanks, you too!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The Compliment Complex

An in-depth analysis of the ins and outs of complex social cues.

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Sleepovers are not a thing. They're just not.

1. You only ask things once.

2. Seriously, you only ask once.

3. When you do muster up the courage to ask your parents for something, you creep around and wait until they’re in a good mood.

4. Before you get that final yes, you have to go through an interview.

5. If you ever got “the eye,” you knew you were screwed.

6. You were always the first to leave your group of friends when hanging out.

7. If you say you will be home at a certain time, you better be home at that time.

8. Seeing a missed call from your parents sends fear and horror through your veins.

9. If relatives are coming over to the house, your room better be clean.

10. You are careful about what jokes you share with your parents.

11. "You’re not an adult until you turn 18! You can do whatever you want then!"

12. If plans change while you’re out, you better text or call.

13. Don’t talk back. Ever.

14. When you’re called by your full name, you’re in deep trouble.

15. Don’t make them call your name twice.

16. Sleepovers are not a thing.

17. Despite all of these things, you know your parents love you.

For better or for worse

1. Pets

2. Mornings

3. Mistakes

4. Cooking for yourself

5. Hosting

6. Taking care of yourself

7. Holidays

8. Roommates

9. Keeping focused and getting stuff done

10. Cleaning

11. Social life

No, really. I'm not mad. Just hungry.

1. You’re tired of people asking you if you know what “RBF” stands for every time you zone out.

2. You’re constantly using the excuse, “I’m just tired” when people ask you if you’re mad.

3. Or “I’m just thinking.”

4. In fact, you’re rarely ever actually mad.

5. But when you are, people usually can’t tell.

6. You find other people with RBF’s and have to convince yourself that you don’t look like them.

7. You constantly remind yourself, “At least I’m not a psycho.”

Some of your best ideas come through boredom.

1. If the professor is late by one minute, I'm leaving.

2. Oh crap, that's due TODAY?!

3. Can I nap in here?

4. I wonder what they're serving at the cafeteria.

5. How much does my teacher even get paid?

6. How much will I get paid?

7. This is the longest 50 minutes of my life.

8. Maybe if I call mom, she'll give me money.

9. How much do street performers make anyway?

10. Why am I here? I could be a street performer by now.

11. Oh right, I'm not talented.

The Belchers hold the key to a better life.

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