“OMG!! Wedding vows to a 4-year-old!” Can you guess who I’m talking about yet? And.. the 15 seconds of fame spotlight lands straight on newlyweds Savannah and Cole LaBrant. Disclaimer: I obviously do not know these two personally, and I’m sure they (could be) genuinely nice people. I also find it refreshing when people try to live through and spread the word of God. What I do know, and can see through crystal lenses here, is the very obviously fabricated facade they put on for the world.

Really though, what man has to share his wedding vows to his wife’s 4-year-old daughter repeatedly on Facebook..Twitter.. Instagram? How many people do you feel need to see that before you’re satisfied, Cole? Don’t get me wrong, when you marry someone who has children from a previous relationship you take on a parental duty.

What is incredibly clear, though, is that it was never about the sentimentality of the vows. It was never about the tiny ring he bought Savannah’s daughter when he proposed to Sav. It was about the hearts you would steal and the tears people who had never met you would shed after you shared it on every social media platform numerous times. You used your marriage as a medium to boost your views and win over fans. You used a 4-year-old for popularity.

What I find just a little more disturbing is his revoked tweet about losing his virginity after the wedding. Congratulations, Cole. You did it. Somewhere in the midst of all of the worship, you publicize that you partake in, you found the time to share with the world that you slept with your wife. Welcome to the club, dude. Yet another way you used your marriage for a huge publicity stunt.

Before you attack me for criticizing such a Godly couple, look one or both of them up online. What pops up first? Definitely isn’t anything about their charity work. Or how they’re using their fame to bring attention to any relevant issues.

This isn’t to discredit anything charitable they have done, or to say that all of God’s work should be made public... but at the end of the day, generally, when you preach your relationship with God all day every day, people would hear about your work. No, Cole, saying “God Bless You,” when someone sneezes behind you in line at Kroger, doesn’t exactly count.

Let’s be realistic people. Cole’s fame should’ve ended with the death of Vine. Not to mention I just can’t get past how much they physically favor each other. Did Ken and Barbie have fraternal twins?