When I stopped competing for your time, I found I had more for myself. I had more time to remember how I love sitting by big windows and smelling the rain fill the outside air. I had more time to read books with twisting plots and complex characters that set my imagination free for if not but a little while. I had more time to daydream about wildflowers and remember how fresh lilies have a special place in my heart. I had more time to remember how comforting silence can be and how refueling my soul with things I truly love is as important as filling my time with others needs and desires.
When I stopped competing for your attention, I could focus mine on people who needed it.
I could focus my attention on people who were lost and needed a hand to hold. I could focus on people who were down and needed someone to pick them up. I could focus on people who succeeded and needed to be told someone was proud of them. People who were laughing at life’s funny moments and needed someone to laugh with them. When I started focusing my attention on people who needed it, I didn't feel the intense need of attention from others anymore.
When I stopped competing for your praise, I found peace in knowing I could succeed and get work done without the need for affirmation.
I could go through my day and make decisions for myself without wondering what would be said for my actions later on; they were for me and my growth alone. I could do what I wanted for myself because I wasn’t risking getting rebuked for human errors. I knew I would learn from them and praise myself when I got it right.
When I stopped competing for your love, I felt more than I ever had before.
I felt the love of the Father bless me with friends that walked close to me and believed in the same things I did. They held me when I was low and laughed with me when I was laughing. They pushed me in my faith and grounded me when I started drifting. They saw the countless flaws and pointed them out as beauty marks, changing the way I’ve seen myself for far longer than I can even remember. They radiate the love of the Father - the love that has filled me up as full as I can be.
