I’m guilty of spending way too much time on social media, and when you’re texting with someone new and trying to grow your relationships with them, sometimes you just can’t help it when it comes to peaking at their old Instagram photos, the photos they’re tagged in or what is lingering in the dark side of their Facebook. It happens, and it happens to all of us, we end up lurking back to before they even knew who we were, and sometimes we find something that may hurt. We come across an old WCW post, an old video of him and his ex, comments about how much they love each other and the list goes on and on.

Comparison will kill you. Comparing your growing relationship on something that might have taken years to get to that point is rough. Living in such a world where relationships are so publically put out there on social media makes things harder. We expect to be shown off, we expect to have our photos commented on, and we expect attention in both real life and online. And when we see that someone we like was giving the attention we want to someone else, even if it was in the past, we start to compare ourselves to the last girl - and it can ruin the growing relationship you’re trying to form with that person.

So please stop looking at his last girls instagram. Please stop comparing her hair to yours. Please stop comparing your body to hers. Please stop comparing her adventurous life to yours. Please stop comparing your family to hers. Please stop comparing her friends to yours. And please stop comparing her relationship to yours.

This level of comparison that comes from social media is an example of the negative effects social media can have on our generation. I can remember when Facebook first started to get popular, my mom and I had a discussion about how people are making their lives more glamorous threw Facebook, they are posting about going places and doing things and hanging out with this person and that person. When you see these posts you start to doubt your life, and you start to think that you’re not doing enough, or that you’re not hanging out with the right people. And you again, start to compare your life to others, all based on what you know from social media. And I’d be the first to admit that I’m guilty of doing both! I’m the type of person who likes to make my Instagram look like I’m doing something fun every single weekend (when in reality I’m wearing red & khaki and hiding behind a cash register). I’m also extremely guilty of spending hours on Instagram wondering how I can make my life more like the last girl he was with.

So please stop looking at his last girls Instagram. You have no idea what she’s really doing with her time. You have no idea what her life is like at home. You have no idea the feelings she was left with when she became his last girl and you became the new one. You have no idea if her friends are real or if they’re just there for Instagram and Facebook. You have no idea what the future is going to bring you and this new guy. So, please don’t ruin it by comparing the two of you - they aren’t together for a reason and you’re the new interest for a different reason.

And remember next time you go to look at his ex’s Instagram and it’s private - be thankful because comparison will kill you.