I was 18 months when my moms decided they wanted to adopt me. I am not really sure how, but I always knew that I was adopted, so when I was around five or six, and they told me, my only response was "I know". I never had questions, who was my birth mom, my dad, why did my mother "give me away", all the common questions adopted children normally have. All I ever knew, and really cared about, was the fact that I was loved. I had two moms who went above and beyond to give me all I could ever want or need. One mom even quit working so that one of them could be with me at all times. I had all the love and attention a little girl could need. Even now, that I am 18 years old, I still don't have any questions. I do remember however, sometime around fourth grade, beginning to get curious about all those questions. Looking back now though, it was more so that I would have more detailed answers for when other kids would ask me about being adopted, my birth parents, etc, because like I said, I never really thought about those things.
The first, and quite honestly the most common of all these questions was, "well, which one is your birth mom". I think this question definitely annoyed me the most because well, all I've ever known was having two moms, that was the norm. Honestly, to me, having a mom and dad was a weird thought. So when people asked that, all I could ever think was "I would never ask that", but then I'd remember not everyone has two moms. The answer to this question, however, was neither. Which always led to the "it is neither because I am adopted". The more detailed explanation, however, is that one of my moms is actually my biological grandfathers sister.
Another pretty common question was "do you know who your birth mom/dad is?" Which I always answered no to, which led to "do you want to meet them?" Which again, always led to no, and it was true. I can never remember a time in my life where I thought about meeting them, and not in a "I hate them for giving me away" way, I was just truly never curious. I had a loving family and supportive parents. Even my moms would tell me that it was okay if I wanted to meet, or find them, that it wouldn't make them feel as if I was betraying them. But even with that, I never had a desire to seek out my birth parents. And in no way was this "none desire" to seek them out in a negative way, I was, am, happy with my life. Honestly, I think it has to do with how close I am to my moms, they are truly my best friends. I never had that "strayed" relationship that made me want to go out and search for that "missing" relationship in my life. It was more than fulfilled, and quite honestly I feel like that is why I never desired to search for my birth parents.
"What do you call them?" 'Them' being my moms, I never really started getting this question until recently, and it sets me aback. I forget sometimes that not everyone has positive adoption stories. I know a few people who are also adopted, but were all adopted as babies, so they've never known any other parent figure, and they all call their parents mom and/or dad. Unfortunately, there are those negative adoption stories, where the kids hate the adopted family, or parents, thankfully I don't know anyone personally like that. Everyone I know loves their 'adoptive' parents, even though for the majority of them, they don't consider themselves adopted, at least not in the way people think. I have never thought of my moms being anything other than my moms, there has never been a time where I have thought 'oh well they're not my real parents so it doesn't matter'. I have always treated them and acted like they're my birth moms, and not because that is all I've ever known, but because they've earned that. They did everything a mother is supped to do, been there for me, supported me, loved me, raised me. I would never consider them as anything other than my moms. And I know it is the same way for the other adopted children I know, our 'adopted' parents aren't that, to us, they're just our parents. I honestly think that only none adoptive people see it as having 'adopted' parents. But to me, my moms will always just be, my moms.
