"Perfectionism doesn't make you feel perfect, it makes you feel inadequate." -- Maria Shriver
Perfectionists are usually seen as super secure, self-assured individuals who may be known for being the lead in the school play, star athlete or even the valedictorian. They never miss a beat, with exceptional performances that make their accomplishments seem natural. These are just a few of the positive labels often associated with perfectionists like myself. There are, however, many unfavorable assumptions that nearly all of us have been faced with more than once. The following are few of the many stereotypes associated with perfectionism.
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1. We're overly confident.
To be quite honest, many perfectionists often have low self-esteem. I'm very uncertain about everything I do. Am I a good friend? Did I really help that person, or are they just saying that to be nice? Perfectionists are huge over-thinkers, and we worry so much about the smallest things. So much so, that we are often diagnosed with anxiety and sometimes depression.
2. Our talents come naturally to us.
This is more than an understatement. We are the people you see working overtime, staying after school for extra help, or begging our parents to let us stay after practice a few extra minutes. I jump rope competitively, and I push myself to practice until I get a clean run-through, even if that means an extra hour in the gym. For every mistake, I practice that section at least five times. There is no such thing as taking a chance, especially when it could mean making a mistake.
3. We are critical of others.
Not of others, but ourselves! I am my harshest critic and every mistake I make is taken very personally. Any time I get a grade back that I don't like, I dread it for what must seem like an eternity to others. In high school, I remember being so anxious and depressed because of my grades and my GPA. I thought I would never get into any of the colleges I applied to. I would beat myself up so much that I became anxious at even the thought of having to go to school and even considered suicide.
4. We are above any criticism.
It's not that we think we're too good for criticism, but what we fear is failing ourselves. What's even worse than failing yourself? Having others notice that you made a mistake. That makes the failure even more real. It tells me that I'm not good enough, and that I will never be good enough. As I said before, mistakes are taken very personally, and I don't always know how to handle it when someone tells me that I'm doing something wrong; especially when I know that I gave it 110 percent.
5. It ends with success.
Never. Once one task is done, it's immediately on to the next thing. If there was a place higher than first, then we would strive for that, but for now, all we can do is try to be the undefeated champion. "Status quo" isn't in our vocabulary. There is always something bigger and better to chase. Like they say, go big or go home.
Life with perfectionism is filled with uncertainty, anxiety and low self-esteem. Although our fear of failure may seem irrational, it is very real, especially since perfection is impossible to attain. Perfectionists may seem intense, cocky, and harsh at times, but I promise that all of that energy is directed at ourselves. People with perfectionism are just like any other person when we aren't focused on our achievements. We love to laugh, hang out with friends, help others and binge watch Netflix. Of course, it takes one to know one, but I hope the next time you encounter a perfectionist, you try to see life through their eyes and love them for who they are.
