Sucking up is a dishonest way to get ahead.
It is dishonest because it showcases a façade. It can also demonstrate to others that you are in the conversation to merely impress, and not to truly engage with them.
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I have a sensible philosophy that just being decent and respectful to others makes more of an impression than schmoozing or being a "yes" man. I was raised to understand that putting honesty before accomplishment makes you more approachable, dare I even say relatable.
Bravado should have no place in connecting with others. Do not mistake that for confidence, because there is a difference. The difference is that bravado is absolute; you deem yourself perfect or unmalleable. Having confidence means that you go in respecting the barriers and challenges you may face.
No one is, or should be, beneath me. My aim in conversation is not to boast, but rather to be honest, not fake or somebody I don't think I am. I feel compelled to give both sides of the story; my successes, as well as my failures. What I am confident I can do, and what I want to improve on or learn more about.
This is something that I try to work on everyday.
What do I mean when I say "be honest"? It's a simple idea. You talk with your other guests and peers about simple topics like current events, how your classes are going, and even common interests that you would've never had an insight about until meeting them. Sometimes business is secondary, and may still revert back to those more personal elements.
I dismiss showing off just because one is in a position of influence or "prestige". I would like to think that I am just as much a proponent of Wabash as any Son of Wabash or Sphinx Club member is. Just because one does not "belong" in this circle does not mean that they do not matter.
Often, it is those who are lower on the totem pole that understand more about what is needed to be accomplished.
A sense of humility is more valuable than a sense of rank. I was inherently taught about humility from a young age by the disability that sets me apart, even on a marginally diverse campus such as Wabash. I know what it is like to be excluded.
Events on the level of higher formality, where it is expected that you "dress to impress", and more casual meetings where you are to "be yourself" (almost as if it's a bad thing) should not be based on that sense of exclusion. It means nothing but division and promoting a sense of snobbery.
It may be idealism that is driving this sentiment. But the simple call to action is that no colleague or peer, especially among Wabash Men, should be differential to having a more egalitarian and open environment. The simple but effectual task is to simply be open to each other.
I value conversation and deliberation that is not always just about business or job aspirations. Those are secondary to developing your social skills and your sense of self-esteem. A firm and confident handshake means more than boasting that you are Student Body President or have "connections".
It means that you stand out as a person of dignity and respect for the other man.
