It's been about a week since Olympic announcer, Al Trautwig made a comment about Simone Biles' adopted parents "not being her actual parents," and it's been about a week since I shared an article explaining that ignorance about adoption still exists. It's been a while, right? And I've already expressed how I feel about it? Sure.
But I still can't just "let it go." Al Trautwig apologized, deleted his tweet, later addressed Nellie and Ron Biles as her parents, and received a lot of backlash after his comment. I forgive Al Trautwig, but this isn't just about forgiveness. It's about ignorance towards adoption that people who are adopted still have to face.
It's not just Al Trautwig. It's not just saying, "Your adopted parents are not your parents," even though they are called Mom or Dad. It's the overall attitude about adoption that many people have. It's the inability to see that people who are adopted are not that different, as we have been painted to be.
While I personally like talking about my adoption, I still just take it as a part of me and consider it normal. In fact, I don't consider it as much as you might think. It can be an emotional process, but mostly, I know that my adopted family is my family and always will be.
Please understand that, yes, you may ask me questions. Yes, I will probably be happy to answer them. But don't assume that I am completely different. Don't assume that I am gaining a better or worse life experience than anyone else.
I'm not angry; there are just certain things I'd wish you'd understand about being adopted. There were so many times growing up where someone would say something that seemed a little off and weird to someone, and they would say, "It's OK; they were adopted."
One time, someone said something at the lunch table while I was there, and the person continued, saying, "They were adopted. Probably lived in a box for a while too." I didn't want to say anything, but I really wish I did.
I don't like to say that I am easily offended, but this hit me. It made me feel that I was different, weird even.
Al Trautwig is not the only person who thinks like this. I remember as a child thinking I was so lucky. I looked enough like my adopted family to where most people thought I looked like them. I smiled whenever people said I did. But the fact that the shocked, "Oh my goodness, you were adopted? Tell me all about it," comments came after it, still got me sometimes. Because then it was, "Well, are you happier with them? Do you want to meet your actual parents? But you look so much like your adopted family."
I'm not saying I don't appreciate it or like talking about it. But it entirely changes once people find out. Why? It's not a strange thing. Many people are adopted. Adoption can be an extremely beautiful thing. And what a beautiful thing that I have such a bond with my family that people always think I'm one of them biologically.
I understand that everyone's experience is different with it, but mine has been extremely positive, which I hope will reflect the views on adoption of other people. Thankfully, it has on many of my friends.
Most times, I don't feel out of place at all. Just like Simone Biles, I know my mom as my mom. I know my family as my family. That's it. Simple as that. Done.
So, why do people still think it's totally out of place to be adopted? We all grow up differently, whether you're raised by your birth parents, raised by adopted parents, raised with a family of four, raised by two parents or raised by one. Every family is different. But every family is a family, whether they are blood or not.
I forget half the time that my family and I aren't related by blood. I think other people should forget that too. Al Trautwig, I know you know that you made a mistake by commenting about Simone's parents. Like I said, I forgive you. I really don't blame you, either. And I also know that you are not the only person who thinks that people are not family because they are not related by blood.
But why does it even really matter? Genetics is cool, and if you're studying genetics, that stuff matters. But when it comes to family life and everyday life, where I'm at is where I need to be, with my adopted family.
I plan on adopting one day, just because I can. And I seriously hope that he or she does not ever feel singled out based on the fact that she is adopted. Just appreciate people who adopt. Appreciate adoption. But understand that it is a beautiful thing, but it isn't strange or odd.
I'm obviously not an Olympic gymnast, but the one thing that I have in common with Simone Biles is that someone has shown me compassion, love and unconditional care who did not necessarily have to. And I can tell that we're both pretty appreciative of it.