I’ve worked on this joke title and joke caption for months. Telling my best friend (who is also gay) my entire plan while he listens and tells me I’m lame.

So here it all goes. I’m actually doing this. I’m actually coming out to my entire Facebook and essentially the entire world.

I’m queer. Sometimes I like girls and sometimes I like boys.

As weird as it is for me to classify myself and tell the entire world... it’s really freeing.

After everything that happened in Orlando this past week, I realized a lot of things. One of which is that I really just need to tell my parents in case I ever get in a situation like that. So I told them. It was as scary and harmless as I ever imagined it to be. My parents have always encouraged me to just be me, so why it has taken this long to just be open about it is entirely placed on societal views.

Not being open about my sexuality for so long left this big gap for people to tell me exactly how they feel about being queer – and let’s just say it wasn’t always very good. So many preconceived ideas and notions that lead to ignorant assumptions. People will say the most awful things when they think there isn’t someone actually listening. So although my parents have always said, "It’s OK to be gay," my brain took a little while to get there. This is after years of hearing ‘gay’ used as an insult, lesbian and dyke as taboo words, faggot used to bully and put down others. At 14-years-old in an ultra-conservative town, no one’s talking about being gay and if they are, then they’re making sure you know you’re going to hell.

I would kiss girls and then play it off; lie to myself, my friends. Date boys I didn’t really like because I was supposed to like them. Eventually, I would lie to boys I did like. What did this mean for me? What did this say about me? Until one day, I would meet a boy who made me feel OK about myself. He didn’t judge, he listened, he helped and he loved me despite being queer. His jokes and his teasing made it normal, made it easy. I’m thankful for his acceptance even now because it made me accept myself.

When I first started telling people I had a really hard time saying it out loud. I was convinced that people would no longer treat me the same. That people would avoid me or talk about me about me behind my back, like they weren’t already talking. That instead of just being smart, funny, annoying or dumb, I would now just be labeled as gay. Not that there is anything wrong with it, but my sexuality shouldn’t determine my personality or how people see me. But when it comes down to it, I like who I am. I’m proud of who I am. So if that means having gay tossed in with my name every time someone talks about me, then cool.

I was afraid I wouldn't be 'gay' enough or that people would say it's just a phase. That my three years with my boyfriend was 'proof' that I wasn't queer. Worse, that I could only choose one. This internal struggle has gone on and on. Should I cut my hair? Do I have to wear different clothes? How will girls know I'm queer otherwise? Will boys not like me anymore? These questions are still there but I'm now less worried about who everybody thinks I should be and more worried about who I am. As long as I am being me and contributing to the world in a positive manner, then it doesn't matter.

I do regret not telling a lot of my friends, my roommates and family. I know there will always be negative thoughts or comments, but I’ve also learned that there will be a ton of supportive loving thoughts and comments. In the end, it’s all up to me how people see me and worrying for so long about others opinions left me in a worse place than if I’d just been honest. Not one person that I’ve told have not wanted to be my friend. Yeah, there are some people that know who now aren’t as comfortable around me. But they didn’t write me off and just never talk to me again. I’m sure people will have something to say about this. I’m sure there will be a tiny bit of backlash, but I don’t regret it.

Most importantly, I hope somebody sees my article and gets the courage to accept themselves. I hope that somebody gets the courage to tell a friend or a family member. In a nice turn of events, a family member or friend encourages someone to come out to them. Tells them it’s OK to be gay, we’ll still love you. The world will still love you. The almighty ever expanding universe will still love you.

Quick note, I don’t use the word bisexual because it’s not the word for me. I use gay as an umbrella term and queer to really describe myself because that’s how I choose to. In no way do I mean offense by not using bisexual or by using gay to group myself.