Growing up as a first-generation college student who had always dreamt of pursuing their education, the pressures of upholding outstanding academic progress fell heavily onto my shoulders for years. Attaining a degree is a hefty goal for many, and this story of stress isn't an unheard of occurrence amongst plenty of others in this day and age. Sometimes, however, those pressures create the need for us to step away from our dreams in order to recollect our thoughts and important personal needs. If anyone were to have ever told the freshman version of myself that I would withdraw from my senior year of college, I wouldn't have believed them. Getting my credits in, maintaining a full ride, and graduating were all things that NEEDED (or at least I was made to believe so) to be done within a span of four years.

Alas, life happens, and the path(s) that we choose may take some unexpected detours unbeknownst to us. With that being said, what is it like trying to hop back into the groove of school after taking time away from it?

For myself, coming back to finish my degree is one of the scariest, yet most fulfilling endeavors that I've had to face. The biggest thoughts that I've pondered for months prior to registration were mostly along the lines of "am I mentally healthy enough for school?" or, more commonly, "Is this something that I can continue to afford?"

Spending months trying to sort through the chaos of everyday life beyond the classroom has been an exhaustive process, and depending on one's intrinsic motivation, can be a blessing; stepping back to focus on the foundation of yourself is extremely imperative for successful living. As subjective as that may sound, you can't build a house by starting with the attic. Taking time to reassess, reevaluate, and create a steady game plan on how to handle finances, housing, personal health, hobbies, relationships, etc., requires a lot of attention and effort that may outweigh higher education for the time being. A break is a great thing, no doubt, but recognizing when it is time to rise back into the grind can be quite anxiety-inducing.

For myself, I find it very easy to get set into a certain routine once I'm in something for long enough (almost to the point where it feels sedentary.) Working full-time, putting energy into therapy, and learning to love some of my hobbies again has me feeling the best I've ever felt; in that same breath, it has me questioning the validity of breaking this break and going back to school. What if I become overwhelmed again? What if I'm denied my financial aid? What if I can't focus like I once did when I was on a roll and waste this time and money just to be frustrated all over again?

These "what if's" have flooded the minds of everyone I've ever known who has contemplated going back to school after taking time to handle themselves. Whether it be two months, three semesters, or ten years, the weight of emotions that come from this decision resonate the same. In my own bouts of uncertainty, I've tried reframing the situation and asking myself "what if I needed to slow down and this ends up working out for me?"

Dropping out became a recurring theme in my brain, and I felt my mind psyching itself out of trying to go back since I had grown complacent of where I was during my break. I was fixing the issues I had at hand, which was great, but I was struggling to set new goals in order to promote and continue more growth for myself as an overall person. Through all of that, rethinking the process of "starting over" had been uncomfortable, but the idea of a fresh start had also been a very fascinating concept. The more I reminded myself that it was okay to go off and do what I needed to do in the first place, the more I was drawn to wanting to be in a scholastic setting again.

College is not for everyone, and that is a very important thing to recognize. If you do happen to find yourself wanting to go back to your studies, though, there are a few things that I've found to be of assistance for myself during this process:

Asking for help is not only okay--it's encouraged. Stepping out of your comfort zone and back into a boundary that has become unfamiliar can be daunting, so finding people who have been there or are further in the journey can give you the best advice and encouragement that can fuel you to keep going. Focusing on your own personal needs rather than school is sometimes what we need to do, and that's perfectly fine. Staying in touch and being open and honest with your professors, peers, and advisors are some of the best and most helpful conversations to keep you, your choices, and your sanity validated. Taking it slow and steady are also large components of success--taking 16 credit hours per semester lead to my ultimate burn out, and as weird as it will feel for a while, slowing down and going at an appropriate pace that is unique to my own circumstances will be a great decision in the long run.

You have to do what is best for yourself, and no matter how difficult coming back to school may be, always remember to take a deep breath and that you have at least one person rooting for you.