Body shaming is nothing new, it’s been a form of personal defense for decades, but the question that continues to be brushed under the rug and avoided at all costs is; why does belittling someone else for their body give a sense of gratification to people?

I think as a society we find a level of sustenance in body shaming, It’s often fueled by jealousy or angst but the real problem lies deeper below the surface. When someone insults a person, there is a momentary rush of self esteem and security, looking down on someone else lifts the abuser slightly above the abused and gives them a false sense of power. Narcissism is fueled by this, and creates a hostile personal environment because too often narcissism is construed as confidence. The reality is, the confident don’t need to put others down to find their beauty. An example of this is, "well i’m prettier than her because i’m in better shape.” Presuming that just because your body is built differently makes you more attractive is just plain wrong. Beauty doesn’t come in one designated size, body shaming quiets your insecurities momentarily and boost and entitled narcissistic personality, not true confidence.

Now I’m sure there is someone thinking, “what the hell do you know about body shaming? You’re like a hundred pounds.” Nothing really bugs me the way assuming I’ve never been told that my body isn’t attractive. I get told daily that i need to “Eat a cheeseburger,” “Get some meat on my bones, because you know guys don’t really like a girl without a no ass or little boobs” or getting asked “Are you eating enough? You look very thin.” Being told that i’m too skinny has become such a norm these days, that it just goes in one ear out the other, i don’t let it bother me anymore because getting a reaction out of me gives people that false sense of power. For a long time i tried to gain weight, i did everything possible, but i’ve just realized that is not who i am, and now I’m entirely comfortable with being skinny and not having curves. So the presumption that I’ve never felt what it’s like to be body shamed has been put to rest.

I think another thing that plays a role in why people body shame is that beauty these days is often configured by the media, whoever is the hottest celebrity in Hollywood sets the ideal for what people should look like and be attracted too. Currently Kim Kardashian and all of her sisters dominate the spotlight, which has set a tone for the rest of the world. The Kardashian image is pretty straight forward, they are girls with big boobs and huge asses. That’s how they’ve marketed themselves--and quite frankly it’s worked. The Kardashians are beautiful, don’t get me wrong, but 95% of the population doesn't look anything like them, but their image is still being constantly forced into our heads. Being told that they are the ideal is a form of body shaming, without actually directly shaming an individual person.

I think putting people down has become such a norm in our society that half the time we don’t even realize we are doing it. We lost empathy and compassion for others somewhere down the line, and feel the need to build personal standards of beauty and put those down who fall below the standard in order to feel a false sense of confidence. Confidence doesn’t come from deciding someone is unattractive, it comes from realizing there shouldn’t be any standard for beauty. There really is beauty in everyone, and once that’s found, confidence arises.