So, you're sitting there thinking about that guy or girl that you've been "talking" to (also known as "a way to test out a relationship to see if it would work with a set of ridiculous unspoken rules that are never clear"), and you want to know what's next. You've been having a good time with them, but have no idea where you stand with them. Are you exclusive? Are you "dating?" Are they saying the same nice stuff that they say to you to other people? Is there any future with this person at all, or are they just wasting your time? Once the questions start, they never stop until you do the dreaded DTR.
No one wants to be the first to DTR (define the relationship) because they don't want to seem too clingy, but it eventually needs to happen.
Stereotypically in the past, if a boy starts the DTR conversation, it's negative; usually in a way that either dissolves the "relationship" completely, or cuts off romantic pieces of the relationship and sticks the partner with "let's just be friends".
Now don't get me wrong here, girls can be part of this negative stereotype conversation as well. In fact, girls have been more likely to do this in the past few years with the ever popular sticking them in the "friend-zone" (the inescapable place girls put their old potential partners in hopes of being friends while she eventually finds someone else).
It's important to know that there are only a couple different ways that a DTR conversation can go.
First, and most common, there is the situation where one person likes the other much more than the other. This often results in either the "friend-zone" or a friends with benefits relationship. Sadly, people would much rather be friends with an addition of physical interactions in an unromantic nature than have just a friendship with a person. I personally believe that this is because the person who likes the other party more wants them to be so happy that they will literally put their own happiness on the line and torture themselves for the other person. And guess what? That person torturing themselves will most likely never get credit for what they do for the other person. Also, the person loses respect by the other party once physical actions start as the friendship awkwardly diminishes until all that's left is a booty call. How sad of a world do we live in? The only other solution in this situation is to ghost each other and hold the amazing ability to be able to walk right past each other without showing any sign that you used to have feelings for each other, or even know each other in general. Slay on the outside, hurt on the inside. That's the motto today, right?
Second, and rather rare, is the actual relationship that comes from the conversation. You both decide that you want to pursue the relationship further and become "official".
DTR is one of those "keep your hopes high but expectations low" kind of deal. Good job 21st century for continuing to drive society away from a monogamous culture.
